Thursday, July 1, 2010

Dare 3

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; outdo one another in showing honor." Romans 12:10
Good afternoon! How are you doing today? I have had a wonderful day, still smiling from last night's viewing of 'Eclipse.' Okay, I won't push the Twilight Saga on you, but if you have read the books, you understand why I enjoy them. Also, if anyone happens to have a recipe for Pad Woon Sen, please send it my way. My husband and I love Thai food, and I just couldn't keep myself from endulging in a little 'deliciousness' today for lunch. But now, I need to learn how to make will be much more cost effective:)
Alright, yesterday my love dare was to be kind. Friends, while I didn't do any unexpected gesture of kindness, I hope I did not fail at my dare. I was consciously kind and pleasant towards Zane. I love my husband immensely. And he didn't say or do anything yesterday that tested my patience or kindness, so I didn't really have the opportunity to 'outdo' him in gentleness and sweetness. Perhaps I should manipulate him into being cruel so that I can speak gently and kindly!
So for today, I'm hit square in the face with something I know I struggle with. Love is not selfish. Selfishness is the exact opposite of love. I cannot show my love for Zane by being selfish....yet, unfortunately I far too often let him show his love for me allowing myself to be selfish (almost justifying my selfishness). Zane is the type of man that wants to take care of me. He loves me so much. He shows me daily. I love when people say you can see how much he loves me. It makes my heart so warm. But the excuse to 'feel loved' is not a reason to ask Zane to get me some water, or take the dogs out, or feed them, or sleep an extra 30 minutes longer than he, knowing he will iron my clothes if I'm pushed for time. All of those things I just mentioned, I do almost on a daily basis. Oh that is so embarrassing! I am a selfish person. There is no way around it. I see in my actions that I am truly least when it comes to my marriage. Which is the most important earthly relationship! I say I love my husband, but based on my actions...well, I need a 'love' adjustment I'd say. 1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love does not seek its own. So, I am excited to consciously become unselfish!
"One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward...the bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself...choosing to love your mate will cause you to say 'no' to what you want so you can say 'yes' to what they doesn't mean you can never experience happiness, but you don't negate the happiness of your spouse so you can enjoy it yourself...when you prioritize the well-being of your mate, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions...lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage" (Kendrick).
The truth is, I have a reputation in the eyes of Zane. And I want it to be the reputation of a servant, not a self-server.
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves." Phillipians 2:3
Today's Dare: Buy Zane something that says "I am thinking of you today."
Yesterday's Dare: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
Which means, today I am to be patient, kind, and selfless. If I make it through these dares, I truly will lose myself to the greater purpose of marriage...and by God's grace our marriage will grow closer to representing Christ and the church.
Inspired by The Love Dare.

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