" The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewaise also the wife to her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:3
So this is awkward to blog about...but I told you in the beginning I would share with you each dare. This is the parental advisory: Material may be unsuitable for children you do not wish to tell about the birds and the bees yet:)
Dare 32 is about fulfilling the sexual desires of your mate. It is written out beautifully, explaining that I am designated for Zane, and he for me. We are the only ones with the God-given right to fulfill that desire in each other. Many people see the Bible as a book filled with the dos and don'ts of sex. That isn't true! There is a whole book (Song of Solomon) written as a love story. The only restrictions God gives us is in order to make the marriage bed all the more wonderful! Kendrick highlights that point, saying even the Bible's "boundaries and restrictions are God's ways of keeping our sexual experiences at a level far beyond any of those advertised on television or in the movies."
In a Christian marriage, romance (and all that entails) should thrive and flourish. "After all, it was created by God. It's all part of celebrating what God has given, becoming one with your mate while simultaneously pursuing purity and holiness. He delights in us when this happens" (Kendrick). Did you grasp that? God delights in a husband and wife loving one another, celebrating their oneness, while keeping the marriage bed pure and pursuing holiness! Far too often in marriage though, one or both people use sex as a bargaining chip...or maybe sex isn't used at all. "If you let your mate know--by words, actions, or inactions--that sex needn't be any more than you want it to be, you rob from them a sense of honor and endearment that has been set in place by biblical mandate" (Kendrick). Know that God's plan in your marriage is for you to love each other. When the love of Christ is the foundation of your marriage, the strength of your friendship and sexual relationship can be enjoyed at a level this world can never know.
And if that is not enough...you will also have the opportunity to "glorify God in your body!" (1 Corinthians 6:20) How beautiful!!!
Dare 32: Initiate sex with your husband or wife today, in a way that honors your spouse. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy. (And I will refrain from talking any more about this...!)
Dare 31: Spouse=Top priority of earthly relationships.
Dare 30: Be unified.
Dare 29: Express your love.
Dare 28: Sacrifice.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare"
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Dare 31
"A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." --Genesis 2:24
I bet you have already guessed what this dare is all about! Leaving and cleaving. This was such a hard concept for me to put into action. My mother and I talked, literally, every day...for the majority of my life thus far, and many times a day at that! And Zane, as a man, cannot find it in him to desire talking for multiple hours a day about nothing. When Zane and I first got married, I continued talking to my mother every day. Always keeping her updated on the happenings in Georgia--being in Georgia made it even more important to talk to my mommy! I was a whole state away now!
Needless to say, one day Zane let me know that I talked to my mom more than him (true), and that it sometimes felt like I needed to talk to her more than him (ouch). It was that moment that I realized, I had not followed the 'leaving and cleaving' part of the Bible, and it was affecting my husband, which in turn was affecting me. The days and weeks that followed served as re-training myself, learning to survive without my mom's voice on the telephone. Marriage changes everything!
So what does leaving really mean? "Leaving means that you are breaking a natural tie. Your parents step into the role of counselors to be respected, but can no longer tell you what to do...the purpose of leaving, of course, is not to abandon all contact with the past but rather to preserve the unique oneness that marriage is designed to capture. Only in oneness can you become all that God means for you to be" (Kendrick).
And "cleaving?" Well, that is a rather joyous time in marriage...and quite stretching one as well. When cleaving, you learn to make decisions together, even when you are coming from different viewpoints; you learn to achieve oneness in your priorities; you learn to sacrifice for each other...compromise. "Cleaving carries the idea of catching someone by pursuit, clinging to them as your new rock of refuge and safety" (Kendrick). In Ephesians 5, we are told that the man is the spiritual leader of your new home, tasked with the responsibility of love you "just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:33). The woman is called to "see to it that she respects her husband" (5:33).
While I may have already gone through the "leaving" part, Zane and I are dared to cleave to one another, pursue and cling to each other providing refuge and safety for one another. Dare to walk as one.
Dare 31: Make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
Dare 30: Be unified.
Dare 29: Express your love.
Dare 28: Sacrifice.
Dare 27: Encourage.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."
I bet you have already guessed what this dare is all about! Leaving and cleaving. This was such a hard concept for me to put into action. My mother and I talked, literally, every day...for the majority of my life thus far, and many times a day at that! And Zane, as a man, cannot find it in him to desire talking for multiple hours a day about nothing. When Zane and I first got married, I continued talking to my mother every day. Always keeping her updated on the happenings in Georgia--being in Georgia made it even more important to talk to my mommy! I was a whole state away now!
Needless to say, one day Zane let me know that I talked to my mom more than him (true), and that it sometimes felt like I needed to talk to her more than him (ouch). It was that moment that I realized, I had not followed the 'leaving and cleaving' part of the Bible, and it was affecting my husband, which in turn was affecting me. The days and weeks that followed served as re-training myself, learning to survive without my mom's voice on the telephone. Marriage changes everything!
So what does leaving really mean? "Leaving means that you are breaking a natural tie. Your parents step into the role of counselors to be respected, but can no longer tell you what to do...the purpose of leaving, of course, is not to abandon all contact with the past but rather to preserve the unique oneness that marriage is designed to capture. Only in oneness can you become all that God means for you to be" (Kendrick).
And "cleaving?" Well, that is a rather joyous time in marriage...and quite stretching one as well. When cleaving, you learn to make decisions together, even when you are coming from different viewpoints; you learn to achieve oneness in your priorities; you learn to sacrifice for each other...compromise. "Cleaving carries the idea of catching someone by pursuit, clinging to them as your new rock of refuge and safety" (Kendrick). In Ephesians 5, we are told that the man is the spiritual leader of your new home, tasked with the responsibility of love you "just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:33). The woman is called to "see to it that she respects her husband" (5:33).
While I may have already gone through the "leaving" part, Zane and I are dared to cleave to one another, pursue and cling to each other providing refuge and safety for one another. Dare to walk as one.
Dare 31: Make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
Dare 30: Be unified.
Dare 29: Express your love.
Dare 28: Sacrifice.
Dare 27: Encourage.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."
Dare 30
"Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are." --John 17:11
During pre-marital counseling, Zane and I had to learn and understand that in marriage, we are no longer separate. We are one. What I do and say affects him, and vise versa. While we can bring in our qualities that make us unique, we can no longer live as our individual selves. When joining in marriage, our awareness of the other is impossible to ignore, and our unity needs to be such as one thread. A strong thread that cannot be torn apart.
So when God uses the imagery of marriage to explain His love for the church, He gives married couples a task that is not to be ignored. "The church (bride) is most honored when her Savior is worshiped and celebrated. Christ (bridegroom), who has given Himself up for her, is most honored when He sees her 'as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless' (Ephesians 5:27). Both Christ and the church honor the other" (Kendrick).
What would happen in marriages across the world if every husband loved and honored his wife, serving her above himself? What would happen if every wife would promote tenderness and togetherness in her marriage? That is what this dare is for. For Zane and I to understand that our marriage unifies us, and that our actions are to display God's love for the church. Unifying. Honoring. Serving. Loving.
Dare 30: Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
Dare 29: Express your love.
Dare 28: Sacrifice.
Dare 27: Encourage.
Dare 26: Seek forgiveness.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare"
During pre-marital counseling, Zane and I had to learn and understand that in marriage, we are no longer separate. We are one. What I do and say affects him, and vise versa. While we can bring in our qualities that make us unique, we can no longer live as our individual selves. When joining in marriage, our awareness of the other is impossible to ignore, and our unity needs to be such as one thread. A strong thread that cannot be torn apart.
So when God uses the imagery of marriage to explain His love for the church, He gives married couples a task that is not to be ignored. "The church (bride) is most honored when her Savior is worshiped and celebrated. Christ (bridegroom), who has given Himself up for her, is most honored when He sees her 'as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless' (Ephesians 5:27). Both Christ and the church honor the other" (Kendrick).
What would happen in marriages across the world if every husband loved and honored his wife, serving her above himself? What would happen if every wife would promote tenderness and togetherness in her marriage? That is what this dare is for. For Zane and I to understand that our marriage unifies us, and that our actions are to display God's love for the church. Unifying. Honoring. Serving. Loving.
Dare 30: Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
Dare 29: Express your love.
Dare 28: Sacrifice.
Dare 27: Encourage.
Dare 26: Seek forgiveness.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare"
Monday, August 23, 2010
Dare 29
"Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men." -Ephesians 6:7
What motivates you to love? A surprise gift? Coming home to a bouquet of Stargazer Lilies? Quality time spent together doing nothing but enjoying the presence of your spouse? Many things can be our motivation for love...but not for long. Eventually a husband will ignore his wife, or the wife will remind him one too many times to fix the sink (which is probably why he is ignoring her in the first place), and the motivation now being felt is, well..de-motivating.
The only way that love's motivation stays in tact is when God is our reason for loving.
Kendrick asks us to consider the following areas where pleasing Him should become our goal:
Work: "Do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men" (Colossians 3:23).
Service: "Obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord" (Colossians 3:22).
Everything: Work hard at "whatever you do...knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve" (Colossians 3:23-24).
Even Marriage: "Wives, be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord" (Colossians 3:18). "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).
Kendrick points out clearly that "the love that's demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness or suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity. The fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit."
No longer do we love based on our spouse motivating us, but rather we love because of how much God loves us and our love is motivated by honoring the One and Only God. "Only love that is lifted up as an offering to God--returned to Him in gratitude for all He's done--is able to sustain itself when all other reasons have lost their ability to energize us...love that has God as its primary focus is unlimited in the heights it can attain" (Kendrick).
This dare brought me to understanding why my love for Zane flows through so much more when I am praying for him, worshiping alongside him, or serving with him. Not only is God loving through me, but He is teaching me how to love Zane while keeping Him as my focus. How can I not love Zane more when God is my motivation? "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15).
Dare 29: Say 'i love you' and then express love to your spouse in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person--unconditionally, the way He loves both of you!
Dare 28: Sacrifice.
Dare 27: Encourage.
Dare 26: Seek forgiveness.
Dare 25: Forgive freely.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare"
What motivates you to love? A surprise gift? Coming home to a bouquet of Stargazer Lilies? Quality time spent together doing nothing but enjoying the presence of your spouse? Many things can be our motivation for love...but not for long. Eventually a husband will ignore his wife, or the wife will remind him one too many times to fix the sink (which is probably why he is ignoring her in the first place), and the motivation now being felt is, well..de-motivating.
The only way that love's motivation stays in tact is when God is our reason for loving.
Kendrick asks us to consider the following areas where pleasing Him should become our goal:
Work: "Do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men" (Colossians 3:23).
Service: "Obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord" (Colossians 3:22).
Everything: Work hard at "whatever you do...knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve" (Colossians 3:23-24).
Even Marriage: "Wives, be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord" (Colossians 3:18). "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).
Kendrick points out clearly that "the love that's demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness or suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity. The fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit."
No longer do we love based on our spouse motivating us, but rather we love because of how much God loves us and our love is motivated by honoring the One and Only God. "Only love that is lifted up as an offering to God--returned to Him in gratitude for all He's done--is able to sustain itself when all other reasons have lost their ability to energize us...love that has God as its primary focus is unlimited in the heights it can attain" (Kendrick).
This dare brought me to understanding why my love for Zane flows through so much more when I am praying for him, worshiping alongside him, or serving with him. Not only is God loving through me, but He is teaching me how to love Zane while keeping Him as my focus. How can I not love Zane more when God is my motivation? "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15).
Dare 29: Say 'i love you' and then express love to your spouse in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person--unconditionally, the way He loves both of you!
Dare 28: Sacrifice.
Dare 27: Encourage.
Dare 26: Seek forgiveness.
Dare 25: Forgive freely.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare"
Dare 28
"He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers." -1 John 3:16
With all the pain and suffering Christ went through on the cross, and bearing His own Father's disgrace because the sin upon Him (our sin) was too much to look on, (which that time away from the Father was far worse than any nail hammered through), how much easier it is for us to sacrifice for our spouse. Yet, how rarely we choose to do so.
When life is hard for me, I notice immediately. I may ask people to pray, I may grab a gallon of ice cream, but I most certainly notice and take a moment or two to throw a pity-party. When my husband (who is as laid back as they come) is having a bad day though, I don't always notice immediately. He may take me a while. In fact, just last night at Biblestudy he asked our Life Group to pray for him, that he would not become discouraged by the lack of believers in his grad program, or the unwillingness for them to learn who Jesus is. That prayer request shocked me. Not because he cared for the people he attends classes with, but because he had become discouraged last year. I had no idea! It hurt me a little to realize perhaps I hadn't been there for him, or hadn't paid enough attention to see that burden. Kendrick states that "love doesn't have to be jarred awake by your mate's obvious signs of distress...it sees the weight beginning to pile up and it steps in to help...love wants you to be sensitive to your spouse...it keeps you so tuned in to what your spouse needs that you often respond without being asked...love inspires you to say 'no' to what you want, in order to say 'yes' to what your spouse needs."
Reading that makes me see that I wasn't aware enough of Zane's weight that was beginning to pile up on him. Which does not give me reason to drown in self-pity and dash my hopes of ever being a good wife. My love for Zane tells me to pick myself up and turn my attention to his needs, so that I can seek to be more aware, and more eager to listen! Love tells me to make sacrifices of myself, so that I can give more to Zane. (Read Matthew 25:35-36.) Zane needs to see that I truly care about him and what ever burden he is dealing with, I earnestly want to help lift. Our spouse needs to know that we are always willing to pray with and for them and that we will follow up. By following up, we show that we care--not to mention that we were listening in the first place.
While this isn't a Christian song, it perfectly wraps up what this dare was saying:
If you were falling then I would catch you.
You need a light? I'd find a match.
If you are chilly, here. Take my sweater.
Your head is aching? I'll make it better.
I'll buy you rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
I'll sew on patches to all you tear.
Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am. -Ingrid Michaelson
"Lives that have been raised from death by Jesus' sacrifice should be ready and willing to make daily sacrifices to meet the needs of others" (Kendrick).
Dare 28: Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do whatever you can to meet a need of your spouse that is burdening them.
Dare 27: Encourage.
Dare 26: Seek forgiveness.
Dare 25: Forgive freely.
Dare 24: Kill lust.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."
With all the pain and suffering Christ went through on the cross, and bearing His own Father's disgrace because the sin upon Him (our sin) was too much to look on, (which that time away from the Father was far worse than any nail hammered through), how much easier it is for us to sacrifice for our spouse. Yet, how rarely we choose to do so.
When life is hard for me, I notice immediately. I may ask people to pray, I may grab a gallon of ice cream, but I most certainly notice and take a moment or two to throw a pity-party. When my husband (who is as laid back as they come) is having a bad day though, I don't always notice immediately. He may take me a while. In fact, just last night at Biblestudy he asked our Life Group to pray for him, that he would not become discouraged by the lack of believers in his grad program, or the unwillingness for them to learn who Jesus is. That prayer request shocked me. Not because he cared for the people he attends classes with, but because he had become discouraged last year. I had no idea! It hurt me a little to realize perhaps I hadn't been there for him, or hadn't paid enough attention to see that burden. Kendrick states that "love doesn't have to be jarred awake by your mate's obvious signs of distress...it sees the weight beginning to pile up and it steps in to help...love wants you to be sensitive to your spouse...it keeps you so tuned in to what your spouse needs that you often respond without being asked...love inspires you to say 'no' to what you want, in order to say 'yes' to what your spouse needs."
Reading that makes me see that I wasn't aware enough of Zane's weight that was beginning to pile up on him. Which does not give me reason to drown in self-pity and dash my hopes of ever being a good wife. My love for Zane tells me to pick myself up and turn my attention to his needs, so that I can seek to be more aware, and more eager to listen! Love tells me to make sacrifices of myself, so that I can give more to Zane. (Read Matthew 25:35-36.) Zane needs to see that I truly care about him and what ever burden he is dealing with, I earnestly want to help lift. Our spouse needs to know that we are always willing to pray with and for them and that we will follow up. By following up, we show that we care--not to mention that we were listening in the first place.
While this isn't a Christian song, it perfectly wraps up what this dare was saying:
If you were falling then I would catch you.
You need a light? I'd find a match.
If you are chilly, here. Take my sweater.
Your head is aching? I'll make it better.
I'll buy you rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
I'll sew on patches to all you tear.
Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am. -Ingrid Michaelson
"Lives that have been raised from death by Jesus' sacrifice should be ready and willing to make daily sacrifices to meet the needs of others" (Kendrick).
Dare 28: Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do whatever you can to meet a need of your spouse that is burdening them.
Dare 27: Encourage.
Dare 26: Seek forgiveness.
Dare 25: Forgive freely.
Dare 24: Kill lust.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."
Dare 27
"Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You." -Psalm 25:20
This dare immediately made me start thinking of the Edwin McCain song, 'I'll Be.' Do you remember the chorus? "I'll be your crying shoulder. I'll be love's suicide. I'll be better when I'm older. I'll be the greatest fan of your life."
Today's dare is about focusing on that last line. Being the greatest fan of your spouse's life. Love encourages. Love becomes the cheerleader. Even when my favorite sport's team is losing, I cheer loud and hard. But how often do I cheer Zane on when I feel hurt, or neglected, or when he doesn't bend over backwards for me like he did on our first date? Unfortunately, that answer is not often, if at all. Ouch! If we all treat our spouses like that, no wonder there are so many unhappy marriages! Everyone is being discouraging and down on themselves and each other rather than lifting each other up, loving, cherishing, and cheering. Kendrick says "you must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations...love puts the focus on personal responsibility and improving yourself rather than on demanding more from others."
We have already discussed many times in this blog the way I feel when expectations are not met. Happily, I can say I think I am getting better at having a good attitude and realizing it's my own fault when I place unreasonable expectations on Zane. Haha...then I just get frustrated at myself for setting myself up again!
I hope I never cause Zane to feel like he is living with a speck inspector. Matthew 7:4-5 asks, "How can you say to your brother, 'let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Hmm...I wonder how quickly we jump to 'fixing' our spouse instead of looking within ourselves. It would probably be easier to count the number of times we look to change ourselves first. But when does our spouse's disapproval ever make us jump for joy and say sweetly, "thank you for letting me know! I look forward to doing better!" No. That scenario never happens. "Your spouse's disapproval only tends to entrench you. Rather than making you want to correct things, it makes you want to dig in even deeper" (Kendrick). Rather than putting each other in a position to rebel, we need to be allowing room for our spouse to be themself.
The Bible tells us to encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble (Isa. 35:3), and to build each other up, encouraging the fainthearted, helping the weak, and being patient with everyone (1 Thess. 5:11). A great place to start is with the one we chose to spend the rest of our life with.
Dare 27: Eliminate unrealistic expectations in your home. Become your spouse's biggest fan!
Dare 26: Seek forgiveness.
Dare 25: Forgive freely.
Dare 24: Kill lust.
Dare 23: Love protects.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."
This dare immediately made me start thinking of the Edwin McCain song, 'I'll Be.' Do you remember the chorus? "I'll be your crying shoulder. I'll be love's suicide. I'll be better when I'm older. I'll be the greatest fan of your life."
Today's dare is about focusing on that last line. Being the greatest fan of your spouse's life. Love encourages. Love becomes the cheerleader. Even when my favorite sport's team is losing, I cheer loud and hard. But how often do I cheer Zane on when I feel hurt, or neglected, or when he doesn't bend over backwards for me like he did on our first date? Unfortunately, that answer is not often, if at all. Ouch! If we all treat our spouses like that, no wonder there are so many unhappy marriages! Everyone is being discouraging and down on themselves and each other rather than lifting each other up, loving, cherishing, and cheering. Kendrick says "you must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations...love puts the focus on personal responsibility and improving yourself rather than on demanding more from others."
We have already discussed many times in this blog the way I feel when expectations are not met. Happily, I can say I think I am getting better at having a good attitude and realizing it's my own fault when I place unreasonable expectations on Zane. Haha...then I just get frustrated at myself for setting myself up again!
I hope I never cause Zane to feel like he is living with a speck inspector. Matthew 7:4-5 asks, "How can you say to your brother, 'let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Hmm...I wonder how quickly we jump to 'fixing' our spouse instead of looking within ourselves. It would probably be easier to count the number of times we look to change ourselves first. But when does our spouse's disapproval ever make us jump for joy and say sweetly, "thank you for letting me know! I look forward to doing better!" No. That scenario never happens. "Your spouse's disapproval only tends to entrench you. Rather than making you want to correct things, it makes you want to dig in even deeper" (Kendrick). Rather than putting each other in a position to rebel, we need to be allowing room for our spouse to be themself.
The Bible tells us to encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble (Isa. 35:3), and to build each other up, encouraging the fainthearted, helping the weak, and being patient with everyone (1 Thess. 5:11). A great place to start is with the one we chose to spend the rest of our life with.
Dare 27: Eliminate unrealistic expectations in your home. Become your spouse's biggest fan!
Dare 26: Seek forgiveness.
Dare 25: Forgive freely.
Dare 24: Kill lust.
Dare 23: Love protects.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."
Friday, August 20, 2010
Dare 26
"When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things." -Romans 2:1
Love is responsible, which means this could be the absolute hardest characteristic to master. To be responsible, we must seek God's strength and wisdom. We cannot do it on our own. Why? Because our pride far too often cripples us from saying things like: I was wrong.
Personal Responsibility: it's something we all agree others should have, but we struggle to maintain it ourselves. "We are so quick to justify our motives. So quick to deflect criticism. So quick to find fault--especially with our spouse, who is always the easiest to blame" (Kendrick).
But love covers our spouse in grace. Whether Zane accepts responsibility for his actions or not does not negate my responsibility to apologize for wrongdoing. Love strives to better your marriage. Love doesn't justify selfish motives or make excuses. Kendrick asks what might happen in your relationship if instead of passing blame, you admitted your own wrong? You listened to your mate instead of coming up with comebacks? "Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool" (Proverbs 17:10).
And you know what our responsibility is in marriage? Unfortunately, something I'm horrible at if I don't get my way, or feel my point of view isn't taken seriously. I am responsible to love Zane. Honor Zane. Cherish Zane. Period. Not if he does this or if he responds that way. Love, honor, cherish--no questions asked.
"If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us; however, if we confess our sins, God is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8-9). We are instructed to swallow our pride and seek forgiveness regardless of how your spouse responds. Admitting your mistakes is your responsibility.
Dare 26: Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse, sincerely and truthfully. Ask for forgiveness, and regardless of their response, cover your responsibility in love.
Dare 25: Forgive freely.
Dare 24: Kill lust.
Dare 23: Love protects.
Dare 22: Love your spouse. Period.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare" Kendrick.
Love is responsible, which means this could be the absolute hardest characteristic to master. To be responsible, we must seek God's strength and wisdom. We cannot do it on our own. Why? Because our pride far too often cripples us from saying things like: I was wrong.
Personal Responsibility: it's something we all agree others should have, but we struggle to maintain it ourselves. "We are so quick to justify our motives. So quick to deflect criticism. So quick to find fault--especially with our spouse, who is always the easiest to blame" (Kendrick).
But love covers our spouse in grace. Whether Zane accepts responsibility for his actions or not does not negate my responsibility to apologize for wrongdoing. Love strives to better your marriage. Love doesn't justify selfish motives or make excuses. Kendrick asks what might happen in your relationship if instead of passing blame, you admitted your own wrong? You listened to your mate instead of coming up with comebacks? "Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool" (Proverbs 17:10).
And you know what our responsibility is in marriage? Unfortunately, something I'm horrible at if I don't get my way, or feel my point of view isn't taken seriously. I am responsible to love Zane. Honor Zane. Cherish Zane. Period. Not if he does this or if he responds that way. Love, honor, cherish--no questions asked.
"If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us; however, if we confess our sins, God is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8-9). We are instructed to swallow our pride and seek forgiveness regardless of how your spouse responds. Admitting your mistakes is your responsibility.
Dare 26: Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse, sincerely and truthfully. Ask for forgiveness, and regardless of their response, cover your responsibility in love.
Dare 25: Forgive freely.
Dare 24: Kill lust.
Dare 23: Love protects.
Dare 22: Love your spouse. Period.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare" Kendrick.
Dare 25
"What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ." --2 Cor. 2:10
Love forgives. What a challenging hurdle to learn--jumping through all your pain and forgiving. Freeing the one who hurt you of justice being served by you. Practicing the very act that Christ painfully acted out for us. He forgave each of us depite how many times we willingly disobey Him, hurt Him, go against Him--deliberately. Needless to say, "if there is to be any hope for your marriage, this is a challenge that must absolutely be taken seriously...forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage won't" (Kendrick).
In Matthew 18:23-35 we learn about the slave who was forgiven his debt by the king, and then immediately goes out and demands his debt to be paid by his servant. When the king heard of it, things changed dramatically in his arrangement with the slave. "And in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay his debt" (vs 34).
Are we not also confined within the walls of a prison when we refuse to forgive? That prison is a room in your heart, also confining everyone who has ever hurt you--parents, siblings, friends, even your spouse. Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate...but you would rather turn your back on Him then see Him set your enemies free. You'd rather find another way out for yourself--a way that would leave everyone else locked inside.
"But in trying to escape, you make a startling discovery. There is no way out. You're trapped inside with all the other captives. Your forgiveness, anger, and bitterness have made a prisoner of you as well. Like the servant in Jesus' story, who was forgiven an impossible debt, you have chosen not to forgive and have been handed over to the jailers and torturers. Your freedom is now dependent on your forgiveness."
I believe it is hardest to forgive when we believe it allows someone to get away with it. It makes it harder when the one who hurt you is not even sorry for what they have done. As long as we hold on to our resentment of the person in question, we can dwell on their punishment. But 'forgiveness doesn't absolve anyone of blame. It doesn't clear their record with God. It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them.' Forgiving someone means you are turning them over to God who promises that vengeance is His and He will repay (Romans12:19). Forgiveness allows you to be free. To let go. It gives you the opportunity to feel God lift the burden. Take it from your shoulders. "It's like a breath of fresh air rushing into your heart."
Great marriages are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep 'no record of wrongs' (1 Cor. 13:5).
Dare 25: Search inside yourself. Whatever you have not forgiven, forgive today. Let it go. Forgive your debtors. It will make great strides to ensuring a healthy, loving marriage.
Dare 24: Kill lust.
Dare 23: Love protects.
Dare 22: Love your spouse. Period.
Dare 21: Be satisfied in God.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare," Kendrick.
Love forgives. What a challenging hurdle to learn--jumping through all your pain and forgiving. Freeing the one who hurt you of justice being served by you. Practicing the very act that Christ painfully acted out for us. He forgave each of us depite how many times we willingly disobey Him, hurt Him, go against Him--deliberately. Needless to say, "if there is to be any hope for your marriage, this is a challenge that must absolutely be taken seriously...forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage won't" (Kendrick).
In Matthew 18:23-35 we learn about the slave who was forgiven his debt by the king, and then immediately goes out and demands his debt to be paid by his servant. When the king heard of it, things changed dramatically in his arrangement with the slave. "And in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay his debt" (vs 34).
Are we not also confined within the walls of a prison when we refuse to forgive? That prison is a room in your heart, also confining everyone who has ever hurt you--parents, siblings, friends, even your spouse. Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate...but you would rather turn your back on Him then see Him set your enemies free. You'd rather find another way out for yourself--a way that would leave everyone else locked inside.
"But in trying to escape, you make a startling discovery. There is no way out. You're trapped inside with all the other captives. Your forgiveness, anger, and bitterness have made a prisoner of you as well. Like the servant in Jesus' story, who was forgiven an impossible debt, you have chosen not to forgive and have been handed over to the jailers and torturers. Your freedom is now dependent on your forgiveness."
I believe it is hardest to forgive when we believe it allows someone to get away with it. It makes it harder when the one who hurt you is not even sorry for what they have done. As long as we hold on to our resentment of the person in question, we can dwell on their punishment. But 'forgiveness doesn't absolve anyone of blame. It doesn't clear their record with God. It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them.' Forgiving someone means you are turning them over to God who promises that vengeance is His and He will repay (Romans12:19). Forgiveness allows you to be free. To let go. It gives you the opportunity to feel God lift the burden. Take it from your shoulders. "It's like a breath of fresh air rushing into your heart."
Great marriages are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep 'no record of wrongs' (1 Cor. 13:5).
Dare 25: Search inside yourself. Whatever you have not forgiven, forgive today. Let it go. Forgive your debtors. It will make great strides to ensuring a healthy, loving marriage.
Dare 24: Kill lust.
Dare 23: Love protects.
Dare 22: Love your spouse. Period.
Dare 21: Be satisfied in God.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare," Kendrick.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
King of Glory
Good afternoon, friends! Thanks for stopping by. I have absolutely wonderful news, which involves a previous post. Remember when I was reading through 'So Long, Insecurity'?? My first entry surrounding that book, titled Insecurity, listed a few insecurities that I was dealing with at the time. One of them was my insecurity that God would use me: He had taken me to Romania and opened my eyes to a world in desperation for Him. My passion for serving orphans had grown...literally exploding out of me. I was insecure about whether God would use me anymore...whether He wanted to or not.
Well, I have been hungry for Him to take me to a place where He is working with orphans, and teach me how to be His hands once again. The passion God instilled in me to love and serve orphans is overwhelming at times. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you also know that my husband and I look forward to adopting one day as God leads. (I would adopt a whole orphanage if God allowed it!!!) Praise God! He is taking me to work with orphans again! October 17-24, I will be serving in Acapulco, Mexico at Casa Hogar del Ninos. I cannot explain how completely thrilled I am that God is taking me to serve around 60 kids, ages 5-18, in Mexico, some of which are true orphans, while others have only one parent who cannot or will not take care of them. Casa Hogar gives these children a safe place to live as well as the means to attend school and live in a Christian environment, learning about the King of glory who promises that He will not leave us as orphans; He will come to us. (John 14:18)
A friend posted some lyrics on facebook earlier, and I was swept into the song instantly. It was one that I was blessed to hear the Romanians singing while I was there. If you have never heard the hurting and orphaned sing praises to our Father before...you are missing out on something truly beautiful! Please take the time to read through these lyrics, and praise our glorious God with me!
Who is this King of glory that pursues me with His love?
And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words?
My conscience a reminder of forgiveness that I need.
Who is this King of glory that offers it to me?
Who is this King of angels, O precious Prince of peace?
Revealing things of Heaven, and all its mysteries!
My spirits ever longing for His grace in which to stand.
Who is this King of glory, Son of God and son of man?
Who is this King of glory with strength and majesty?
And wisdom beyond measure, the gracious King of Kings.
The Lord of earth and heaven, the creator of all things!
Who is this King of glory? He's everything to me!
His name is Jesus! Precious Jesus!
Lord Almighty, the King of my heart, the King of glory!
I hope you have a beautiful afternoon. Praise God that He is not finished with me yet!
Well, I have been hungry for Him to take me to a place where He is working with orphans, and teach me how to be His hands once again. The passion God instilled in me to love and serve orphans is overwhelming at times. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you also know that my husband and I look forward to adopting one day as God leads. (I would adopt a whole orphanage if God allowed it!!!) Praise God! He is taking me to work with orphans again! October 17-24, I will be serving in Acapulco, Mexico at Casa Hogar del Ninos. I cannot explain how completely thrilled I am that God is taking me to serve around 60 kids, ages 5-18, in Mexico, some of which are true orphans, while others have only one parent who cannot or will not take care of them. Casa Hogar gives these children a safe place to live as well as the means to attend school and live in a Christian environment, learning about the King of glory who promises that He will not leave us as orphans; He will come to us. (John 14:18)
A friend posted some lyrics on facebook earlier, and I was swept into the song instantly. It was one that I was blessed to hear the Romanians singing while I was there. If you have never heard the hurting and orphaned sing praises to our Father before...you are missing out on something truly beautiful! Please take the time to read through these lyrics, and praise our glorious God with me!
Who is this King of glory that pursues me with His love?
And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words?
My conscience a reminder of forgiveness that I need.
Who is this King of glory that offers it to me?
Who is this King of angels, O precious Prince of peace?
Revealing things of Heaven, and all its mysteries!
My spirits ever longing for His grace in which to stand.
Who is this King of glory, Son of God and son of man?
Who is this King of glory with strength and majesty?
And wisdom beyond measure, the gracious King of Kings.
The Lord of earth and heaven, the creator of all things!
Who is this King of glory? He's everything to me!
His name is Jesus! Precious Jesus!
Lord Almighty, the King of my heart, the King of glory!
I hope you have a beautiful afternoon. Praise God that He is not finished with me yet!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Dare 24
"The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." --1 John 2:17
In dare 23, we were met head on with the enemies of marriage. Lust is one of them. Perhaps the greatest enemy. It twists itself into the lives of a married couple before they even know one has strayed. From eyes to heart to action...and followed with shame and regret.
To get our minds onto this subject, let's focus on lyrics from a Casting Crowns song: Slow Fade. I know, I know...I'm always pointing out songs. But most times, a song says what I'm trying to say WORLD'S better than I ever could.
Be careful little eyes what you see.
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings.
Be careful little feet where you go.
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow.
Be careful little ears what you hear.
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near.
Be careful little lips what you say.
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray.
The journey from your mind to your hands is shorter than you're thinkin.
Be careful if you think you stand. You just might be sinking!
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away.
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to grey.
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid when you give yourself away.
People never crumble in a day.
Daddies never crumble in a day.
Families never crumble in a day.
It's a slow fade.
Be careful little eyes what you see.
For the Father up above is looking down in love. Oh be careful little eyes what you see.
Whew...okay. Did you make it through that? Did you listen to it, or just read it? Did it make you think of someone who you have witnessed slowly fade? Did it make you think of yourself...maybe realizing you are on the verge of slowly fading? I had all these notes written out for this dare, but I think that song about sums it up. Once our eyes are captured by curiosity, our hearts become entangled. Then we act on our lust--worldly pleasure that promises fullness, but leads to emptiness. It is in direct opposition to love and only represents a lie. "But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction" (1 Timothy 6:9). Let me repeat that last part...lust leads to ruin and destruction!
"Lust is like a warning light on the dashboard of your heart, alerting you to the fact that you are not allowing God's love to fill you. When your eyes and heart are on Him, your actions will lead you to lasting joy, not to endless cycles of regret and condemnation" (Kendrick).
Please read through 2 Peter 1:3-4, Proverbs 5:18-21, and 1 John 2:15. Set your eyes on God. Let His promises of peace and freedom work their way into your heart. "Lust is the best this world has to offer, but love offers you the best life in the world."
Dare 24: End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you've swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed--today--and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.
Dare 23: Love protects.
Dare 22: Love your spouse. Period.
Dare 21: Be satisfied in God.
Dare 20: Commit to love Jesus so that you can love your spouse.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare"
In dare 23, we were met head on with the enemies of marriage. Lust is one of them. Perhaps the greatest enemy. It twists itself into the lives of a married couple before they even know one has strayed. From eyes to heart to action...and followed with shame and regret.
To get our minds onto this subject, let's focus on lyrics from a Casting Crowns song: Slow Fade. I know, I know...I'm always pointing out songs. But most times, a song says what I'm trying to say WORLD'S better than I ever could.
Be careful little eyes what you see.
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings.
Be careful little feet where you go.
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow.
Be careful little ears what you hear.
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near.
Be careful little lips what you say.
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray.
The journey from your mind to your hands is shorter than you're thinkin.
Be careful if you think you stand. You just might be sinking!
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away.
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to grey.
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid when you give yourself away.
People never crumble in a day.
Daddies never crumble in a day.
Families never crumble in a day.
It's a slow fade.
Be careful little eyes what you see.
For the Father up above is looking down in love. Oh be careful little eyes what you see.
Whew...okay. Did you make it through that? Did you listen to it, or just read it? Did it make you think of someone who you have witnessed slowly fade? Did it make you think of yourself...maybe realizing you are on the verge of slowly fading? I had all these notes written out for this dare, but I think that song about sums it up. Once our eyes are captured by curiosity, our hearts become entangled. Then we act on our lust--worldly pleasure that promises fullness, but leads to emptiness. It is in direct opposition to love and only represents a lie. "But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction" (1 Timothy 6:9). Let me repeat that last part...lust leads to ruin and destruction!
"Lust is like a warning light on the dashboard of your heart, alerting you to the fact that you are not allowing God's love to fill you. When your eyes and heart are on Him, your actions will lead you to lasting joy, not to endless cycles of regret and condemnation" (Kendrick).
Please read through 2 Peter 1:3-4, Proverbs 5:18-21, and 1 John 2:15. Set your eyes on God. Let His promises of peace and freedom work their way into your heart. "Lust is the best this world has to offer, but love offers you the best life in the world."
Dare 24: End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you've swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed--today--and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.
Dare 23: Love protects.
Dare 22: Love your spouse. Period.
Dare 21: Be satisfied in God.
Dare 20: Commit to love Jesus so that you can love your spouse.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare"
Dare 23
"Love always protects." --1 Corinthians 13:7
From the time I was a little girl, I've always wanted someone to protect me. Don't get me wrong--I like putting off the image of being tough, strong, unphased...but if I'm honest with myself, I love the idea of someone protecting me. Like Eric protected Ariel from evil Ursula, I desire a man to protect me from the evils of this world. And evils do not stop at terrorism, bullying, and other actions that go against God and His love for us. Marriage can be a battlefield. Sometimes within the home, but always on the outskirts. "There are some battles you should be more than willing to fight; these are battles that pertain to protecting your spouse" (Kendrick).
Unfortunately, all marriages have enemies. We may not feel them every day, but they are there. It could be a pretty young women flirting with your husband, or a personal trainer helping your wife get back to the physical shape of her teens. It can be pornagraphy, a romance novel--it can be work if it is consuming and gets in the way of loving your spouse and meeting their needs. Your husband/wife needs your constant protection from things like: harmful influences such as the internet or television shows that bring in destructive content and drain away precious time with your family. It could be a work schedule that keeps you separated for long hours. You can't protect your home when you're rarely there, nor when you're relationally disconnected. Unhealthy relationships not only encompass inappropriate friendships with the opposite sex but also perhaps your closest same-sex friendships. Not everyone has a good perspective on commitment and priorities, and those 'friends' that would ever give you the advice to just 'walk away,' do not deserve the title of 'friend.' Anyone who undermines your marriage does not deserve that title. Not to mention that "you must be on guard at all times from allowing opposite-sex relationships at work, the gym, or even the church to draw you emotionally away from the one to whom you've already given your heart." Shame is something you should strive to protect your spouse from, which includes protecting their vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public. Generally speaking, love hides the fault of others. It covers their shame. And lastly, parasites are to be guarded against. "A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage...if you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don't it will destroy you."
Do you recall the story in the Bible of the shepherds feeding themselves and neglecting their sheep. Not staying on guard towards the wolves. We should never grow so tired in standing guard of our marriage that we let our beloved be attacked by wolves. The devil prowls like a roaring lion, waiting to snatch up any not ready for battle. May God be gracious enough to keep Zane's heart, and mine as well, in the palm of His hands, granting us wisdom to protect each other and our marriage from the enemies that seek to destroy.
Dare 23: Remove any addiction that is hindering your relationship. To be honest, Zane and I could not think of any...our addiction was driving 1 1/2 hours to work, working, driving 1 1/2 hours home, eating, relaxing, going to bed, then repeating. But, we have been encouraged to pray more for each other, that God will be our strength against the enemy, as well as praying for ourselves, that God will protect our heart, keeping it sealed for one another.
Dare 22: Love your spouse. Period.
Dare 21: Be satisfied in God.
Dare 20: Commit to love Jesus so that you can love your spouse.
Dare 19: Pray for God to change your heart.
Dare 18: Study each other.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare"
From the time I was a little girl, I've always wanted someone to protect me. Don't get me wrong--I like putting off the image of being tough, strong, unphased...but if I'm honest with myself, I love the idea of someone protecting me. Like Eric protected Ariel from evil Ursula, I desire a man to protect me from the evils of this world. And evils do not stop at terrorism, bullying, and other actions that go against God and His love for us. Marriage can be a battlefield. Sometimes within the home, but always on the outskirts. "There are some battles you should be more than willing to fight; these are battles that pertain to protecting your spouse" (Kendrick).
Unfortunately, all marriages have enemies. We may not feel them every day, but they are there. It could be a pretty young women flirting with your husband, or a personal trainer helping your wife get back to the physical shape of her teens. It can be pornagraphy, a romance novel--it can be work if it is consuming and gets in the way of loving your spouse and meeting their needs. Your husband/wife needs your constant protection from things like: harmful influences such as the internet or television shows that bring in destructive content and drain away precious time with your family. It could be a work schedule that keeps you separated for long hours. You can't protect your home when you're rarely there, nor when you're relationally disconnected. Unhealthy relationships not only encompass inappropriate friendships with the opposite sex but also perhaps your closest same-sex friendships. Not everyone has a good perspective on commitment and priorities, and those 'friends' that would ever give you the advice to just 'walk away,' do not deserve the title of 'friend.' Anyone who undermines your marriage does not deserve that title. Not to mention that "you must be on guard at all times from allowing opposite-sex relationships at work, the gym, or even the church to draw you emotionally away from the one to whom you've already given your heart." Shame is something you should strive to protect your spouse from, which includes protecting their vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public. Generally speaking, love hides the fault of others. It covers their shame. And lastly, parasites are to be guarded against. "A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage...if you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don't it will destroy you."
Do you recall the story in the Bible of the shepherds feeding themselves and neglecting their sheep. Not staying on guard towards the wolves. We should never grow so tired in standing guard of our marriage that we let our beloved be attacked by wolves. The devil prowls like a roaring lion, waiting to snatch up any not ready for battle. May God be gracious enough to keep Zane's heart, and mine as well, in the palm of His hands, granting us wisdom to protect each other and our marriage from the enemies that seek to destroy.
Dare 23: Remove any addiction that is hindering your relationship. To be honest, Zane and I could not think of any...our addiction was driving 1 1/2 hours to work, working, driving 1 1/2 hours home, eating, relaxing, going to bed, then repeating. But, we have been encouraged to pray more for each other, that God will be our strength against the enemy, as well as praying for ourselves, that God will protect our heart, keeping it sealed for one another.
Dare 22: Love your spouse. Period.
Dare 21: Be satisfied in God.
Dare 20: Commit to love Jesus so that you can love your spouse.
Dare 19: Pray for God to change your heart.
Dare 18: Study each other.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare"
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Dare 22
"I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord." --Hosea 2:20
Love is faithful. Not just when it is easy; not just when love is accepted. Even when the object of your love pushes you away and rejects your kindness, love remains faithful. Love is not dictated by the response, but rather the choice that you make to love--regardless of the outcome. "As Christians, love is the basis of our whole identity...our love for each other is supposed to be how people distinguish us as Christ's disciples (see John 13:35)...it is the root and ground of our existence (see Ephesians 3:17), meant to be expressed with passion and fervency (see 1 Peter 4:8). It is a quality that we are to 'abound' in more and more (see 1 Thessalonians 3:12), always getting btter at it, becoming increasinly defined by it."
If you are not familiar with the story of Hosea in the Bible, please familiarize yourself with it. Hosea married a prostitute, and after them growing close, and him consistently showing her love, she left him--going back to the ways of her past. She rejected his love for the desires of men. The story does not end there. He goes after her, finds her, and brings her home, loving her despite the way she treacherously dealt with his heart. Kendrick reminds us that "this is a true story, but it was used as a picture of God's love for us. He showers His favor on us without measure, though in return we often don't pay attention...In Him we have the model of what rejected love does. It stays faithful." Please take a moment and read through some Scripture: Luke 6:27-28; 32-33; 35.
We never expect our loved one to become our enemy. But far too often in marriage, we can come to view our spouse as that--rejecting our love, hurting us, being rude or noncommunicative. "If love is to like His, it must love even when its overtures are returned unwanted...You can give undeserved love to your spouse because God gave undeserved love to you--repeatedly! Enduringly! Love is often expressed the most to those who deserve it the least."
Dare 22: Love is a choice, not a feeling. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return." I said these words throughout the day to Zane, in the morning, via text, in the afternoon, etc. While it may have been cheesy at times, it helped engrain in my head that I love him. Period. No matter what, I choose to love.
Dare 21: Be satisfied in God.
Dare 20: Commit to love Jesus so that you can love your spouse.
Dare 19: Pray for God to change your heart.
Dare 18: Study each other.
Dare 17: Promote intimacy.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare"
Love is faithful. Not just when it is easy; not just when love is accepted. Even when the object of your love pushes you away and rejects your kindness, love remains faithful. Love is not dictated by the response, but rather the choice that you make to love--regardless of the outcome. "As Christians, love is the basis of our whole identity...our love for each other is supposed to be how people distinguish us as Christ's disciples (see John 13:35)...it is the root and ground of our existence (see Ephesians 3:17), meant to be expressed with passion and fervency (see 1 Peter 4:8). It is a quality that we are to 'abound' in more and more (see 1 Thessalonians 3:12), always getting btter at it, becoming increasinly defined by it."
If you are not familiar with the story of Hosea in the Bible, please familiarize yourself with it. Hosea married a prostitute, and after them growing close, and him consistently showing her love, she left him--going back to the ways of her past. She rejected his love for the desires of men. The story does not end there. He goes after her, finds her, and brings her home, loving her despite the way she treacherously dealt with his heart. Kendrick reminds us that "this is a true story, but it was used as a picture of God's love for us. He showers His favor on us without measure, though in return we often don't pay attention...In Him we have the model of what rejected love does. It stays faithful." Please take a moment and read through some Scripture: Luke 6:27-28; 32-33; 35.
We never expect our loved one to become our enemy. But far too often in marriage, we can come to view our spouse as that--rejecting our love, hurting us, being rude or noncommunicative. "If love is to like His, it must love even when its overtures are returned unwanted...You can give undeserved love to your spouse because God gave undeserved love to you--repeatedly! Enduringly! Love is often expressed the most to those who deserve it the least."
Dare 22: Love is a choice, not a feeling. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return." I said these words throughout the day to Zane, in the morning, via text, in the afternoon, etc. While it may have been cheesy at times, it helped engrain in my head that I love him. Period. No matter what, I choose to love.
Dare 21: Be satisfied in God.
Dare 20: Commit to love Jesus so that you can love your spouse.
Dare 19: Pray for God to change your heart.
Dare 18: Study each other.
Dare 17: Promote intimacy.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare"
Friday, August 13, 2010
Dare 21
Good morning! I am so sorry I have been lazy in keeping you updated with the love dares. You will hear about them all...but you may receive a few a day so I can get caught up to where I am. My hubby and I are actually at Dare 28--yes, I am THAT behind!
"The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire." --Isaiah 58:11
Love is satisfied in God. If anything is true, that statement is. Too often we look to people and things to satisfy us. While it may seem that at times we are completely satisfied in our friends, our spouse, our finances, those things do not last forever...and do not give the impression of satisfying us forever. At some point, we are let down. This is a fault of mine--not just looking to Zane for satisfaction, but refusing to believe he is human when he lets me down....I have this fairy-tale image in my head of him being Eric (The little Mermaid was my favorite...so I want an Eric, not a Prince Charming or Aladdin), when in reality, he is Zane. Beautiful Zane. Full of love, kindness, and all the little things that make him human. And let's be honest, no matter what I think or what I do, I CANNOT find my satisfaction in him. In fact, it is only harmful to our marriage for me to try. It sets unrealistic expectations for him to live up to, and prevents me from seeking satisfaction in Jesus. And only when I do that am I free to truly love my husband. "Nothing in your toolbox of talents and resources can repair the damage that sin leaves, and Jesus is the only One who can supply what you've been missing...His wisdom, grace, and power are to be released into everything you do. Including, not the least, your marriage."
God alone can give inner peace: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7.
God alone brings contentment: "In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled...I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Phil. 4:12-13.
Only God can supply our needs...but He wants us to receive them His way: "My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19.
And humbly, I shamefully admit that "(my) only reason for not 'seeking satisfaction in Him' is because we really don't trust God to supply what we need."
Do you recall the story of the woman at the well? "What He offered her was a drink of soul satisfaction that never quits giving and refreshing. And that is what's available to you each morning at sunrise and each night before bed, no matter who your spouse is or what they've done to you. God is your everyday supply. Of everything you need.
Dare 21: Be intentional about reading your Bible. Make a time to read and pray. As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him. (Proverbs is a GREAT book to start in. 31 chapters for 31 days of the month. Full of wisdom!!!)
Dare 20: Commit to love Jesus, so you can love your spouse.
Dare 19: Pray for God to change your heart.
Dare 18: Study each other.
Dare 17: Promote intimacy.
Dare 16: Love intercedes.
(For previous dares, please refer to earlier blogs.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare"
"The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire." --Isaiah 58:11
Love is satisfied in God. If anything is true, that statement is. Too often we look to people and things to satisfy us. While it may seem that at times we are completely satisfied in our friends, our spouse, our finances, those things do not last forever...and do not give the impression of satisfying us forever. At some point, we are let down. This is a fault of mine--not just looking to Zane for satisfaction, but refusing to believe he is human when he lets me down....I have this fairy-tale image in my head of him being Eric (The little Mermaid was my favorite...so I want an Eric, not a Prince Charming or Aladdin), when in reality, he is Zane. Beautiful Zane. Full of love, kindness, and all the little things that make him human. And let's be honest, no matter what I think or what I do, I CANNOT find my satisfaction in him. In fact, it is only harmful to our marriage for me to try. It sets unrealistic expectations for him to live up to, and prevents me from seeking satisfaction in Jesus. And only when I do that am I free to truly love my husband. "Nothing in your toolbox of talents and resources can repair the damage that sin leaves, and Jesus is the only One who can supply what you've been missing...His wisdom, grace, and power are to be released into everything you do. Including, not the least, your marriage."
God alone can give inner peace: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7.
God alone brings contentment: "In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled...I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Phil. 4:12-13.
Only God can supply our needs...but He wants us to receive them His way: "My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19.
And humbly, I shamefully admit that "(my) only reason for not 'seeking satisfaction in Him' is because we really don't trust God to supply what we need."
Do you recall the story of the woman at the well? "What He offered her was a drink of soul satisfaction that never quits giving and refreshing. And that is what's available to you each morning at sunrise and each night before bed, no matter who your spouse is or what they've done to you. God is your everyday supply. Of everything you need.
Dare 21: Be intentional about reading your Bible. Make a time to read and pray. As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him. (Proverbs is a GREAT book to start in. 31 chapters for 31 days of the month. Full of wisdom!!!)
Dare 20: Commit to love Jesus, so you can love your spouse.
Dare 19: Pray for God to change your heart.
Dare 18: Study each other.
Dare 17: Promote intimacy.
Dare 16: Love intercedes.
(For previous dares, please refer to earlier blogs.)
--Inspired by "The Love Dare"
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Dare 20
"While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." --Romans 5:6
Love is Jesus Christ. This love dare is less about a specific thing that marriage requires such as patience, selflessness, kindness, etc. This love dare is about the ONLY thing marriage requires to work...to love...to thrive. On the previous dare, I sent you through Scripture looking up God's love. Today, I will give you Scripture, but please, feel free to look it up on your own and study the text surrounding it.
Luke 19:10 "The Son of man came to seek and save the lost."
Maybe you have never accepted Jesus. 2 Corinthians 6:2 "Now is the acceptable time, behold, now is the day of salvation."
Maybe you accepted Jesus years ago. Acts 3:19 "Repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord."
We are sinful from birth. Psalm 51:5 "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me." Isaiah 64:6 "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment."
Great news! 1 John 4:9 "God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him."
Philippians 2:6-8 "Although He existed in the form of God, He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant...He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." 1 Peter 2:24-"He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed."
Love like this cannot be fully understood. See Romans 5:7-8
Nor can love like this be earned. See Romans 6:23 and Ephesians 2:8-9
But it must be received. See Romans 10:9-10
And when you have received this new life and love as your own, you are free to love in ways you've never been capable before.
See 1 John 3:16 and 1 John 4:8
Kendrick speaks truth when he says true love is found in Christ alone. "And after you have received His gift of new life by accepting His death in your place and His forgiveness for your sins, you are finally ready to live the dare." Dare to love. Dare to love wholly, with Jesus living through you.
Dare 20: Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to ask Him to change your heart, and save you by His grace. Zane and I have both accepted Christ into our lives. We did so many years ago. However, reading through these last two dares, and reading through so much Scripture, affirms to us not only God's love, but how much we can't love apart from Him.
Dare 19: Pray for God to change your heart.
Dare 18: Study each other.
Dare 17: Love promotes intimacy.
Dare 16: Love intercedes.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
(For previous dare, please refer to earlier entries. Thank you!)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."
Love is Jesus Christ. This love dare is less about a specific thing that marriage requires such as patience, selflessness, kindness, etc. This love dare is about the ONLY thing marriage requires to work...to love...to thrive. On the previous dare, I sent you through Scripture looking up God's love. Today, I will give you Scripture, but please, feel free to look it up on your own and study the text surrounding it.
Luke 19:10 "The Son of man came to seek and save the lost."
Maybe you have never accepted Jesus. 2 Corinthians 6:2 "Now is the acceptable time, behold, now is the day of salvation."
Maybe you accepted Jesus years ago. Acts 3:19 "Repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord."
We are sinful from birth. Psalm 51:5 "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me." Isaiah 64:6 "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment."
Great news! 1 John 4:9 "God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him."
Philippians 2:6-8 "Although He existed in the form of God, He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant...He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." 1 Peter 2:24-"He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed."
Love like this cannot be fully understood. See Romans 5:7-8
Nor can love like this be earned. See Romans 6:23 and Ephesians 2:8-9
But it must be received. See Romans 10:9-10
And when you have received this new life and love as your own, you are free to love in ways you've never been capable before.
See 1 John 3:16 and 1 John 4:8
Kendrick speaks truth when he says true love is found in Christ alone. "And after you have received His gift of new life by accepting His death in your place and His forgiveness for your sins, you are finally ready to live the dare." Dare to love. Dare to love wholly, with Jesus living through you.
Dare 20: Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to ask Him to change your heart, and save you by His grace. Zane and I have both accepted Christ into our lives. We did so many years ago. However, reading through these last two dares, and reading through so much Scripture, affirms to us not only God's love, but how much we can't love apart from Him.
Dare 19: Pray for God to change your heart.
Dare 18: Study each other.
Dare 17: Love promotes intimacy.
Dare 16: Love intercedes.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
(For previous dare, please refer to earlier entries. Thank you!)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."
Dare 19
"Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." --1 John 4:7
This dare is filled with Scripture. Love is impossible. Apart from God we can do nothing. It goes without saying--but I'll say it--we cannot love without Him. Let me paraphrase this dare, and then I would love for you to read through the Scripture that I list. Let it teach you and remind you what love is about. What love is. May it transform us so that we can love outside ourself. Love like crazy. Love because God is the One loving through us.
"You cannot manufacture unconditional love out of your own heart...love isn't something you can do. It's something only God can do...but because He loves us so much, He chooses to express His love through us! If you're not right with God, you can't truly love your spouse because He is the Source of that love...love that is able to withstand every pressure is out of your reach, as long as you're only looking within yourself to find it. You need someone who can give you that kind of love...when you surrender yourself to Christ, His power can work through you...He is pursuing you, not to enslave you but to free you, so you can receive His love and forgiveness...the truth is, you can't live without Him and you can't love without Him. But there is no telling what He could do in your marriage if you put your trust in Him!"
Romans 3:23; Romans 6:23; 1 John 4:7; John 15:5; John 15:7; Ephesians 3:19-20; Romans 5:5
Have a wonderful day, and let the impossibility of love become possible with Jesus Christ!
Dare 19: Look back over the previous dares and see your need for God. Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him. Ask Him to change your heart and to give you the ability to love.
Dare 18: Study each other.
Dare 17: Love promotes intimacy.
Dare 16: Love intercedes.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier posts please.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."
This dare is filled with Scripture. Love is impossible. Apart from God we can do nothing. It goes without saying--but I'll say it--we cannot love without Him. Let me paraphrase this dare, and then I would love for you to read through the Scripture that I list. Let it teach you and remind you what love is about. What love is. May it transform us so that we can love outside ourself. Love like crazy. Love because God is the One loving through us.
"You cannot manufacture unconditional love out of your own heart...love isn't something you can do. It's something only God can do...but because He loves us so much, He chooses to express His love through us! If you're not right with God, you can't truly love your spouse because He is the Source of that love...love that is able to withstand every pressure is out of your reach, as long as you're only looking within yourself to find it. You need someone who can give you that kind of love...when you surrender yourself to Christ, His power can work through you...He is pursuing you, not to enslave you but to free you, so you can receive His love and forgiveness...the truth is, you can't live without Him and you can't love without Him. But there is no telling what He could do in your marriage if you put your trust in Him!"
Romans 3:23; Romans 6:23; 1 John 4:7; John 15:5; John 15:7; Ephesians 3:19-20; Romans 5:5
Have a wonderful day, and let the impossibility of love become possible with Jesus Christ!
Dare 19: Look back over the previous dares and see your need for God. Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him. Ask Him to change your heart and to give you the ability to love.
Dare 18: Study each other.
Dare 17: Love promotes intimacy.
Dare 16: Love intercedes.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier posts please.)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."
Dare 18
"How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding." --Proverbs 3:13
I am loving that each dare starts off with a Bible verse...most from Proverbs. Proverbs has a whole lot of wisdom in it's 31 chapters...wisdom that I would do well to gain. The week before I got married, my mom set up a time for me to have tea with one of her spiritual mentors, Corina. Corina is a wise woman, filled with joy, a tender heart, and Christ's love. One of the things she advised me to do was to read a chapter a day in Proverbs to start off my marriage. And so I did. Not only was it a blessing to be in God's word, but it also gave insight on how to pray for my marriage, for my husband, and for myself. I need to make it a habit to read Proverbs--what a blessing it would be for God to grant me wisdom, like He has Corina. I look forward to one day telling my daughter the same advice Corina gave me.
Okay, so the love dare...Love seeks to understand. "We enjoy discovering as much as we can about the things we truly care about...how much do you know about your mate? Think back tot he days you were courting. Didn't you study the one your heart was yearning for?" I have to admit...I most certainly did! I was eager to learn everything about Zane. His favorite ice cream, Bible verse, fruit-loop color, song, band, movie, etc. I took the 'conversation starters' on the back of TGIFriday's sugar packets seriously! I wanted to learn. To get an A+ in my study of Zane.
At some point, I grew comfortable. I guess I subconsciously began to think I had learned everything I needed to learn. What not to cook, what not to say, his love language, how he will react to certain things, etc. Shamefully, I see that marriage should propel me to learn more. To get a doctorate in Zane class. Not just a highschool diploma.
Kendrick provided some challenging questions, that I'll admit, I did not necessarily know the answer right off the top of my head: Do you know his or her greatest hopes and dreams? Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love? Do you know what your spouse's greatest fears are and why they struggle with them?
So, ask questions. "Love takes the initiative to begin conversations." (see Prov. 18:15) Listen. "Even if your spouse is not very talkative, love calls you to draw out the 'deep water' that dwells within them." (see Prov. 20:5) Ask God for discernment. "God is a giver of wisdom...He will show you how to love your spouse better." (See Prov. 2:6) "Desire to know your spouse even better than you do now. Make him or her your chosen field of study, and you will fill your home with the kind of riches only love can provide."
Dare 18: Prepare a special dinner at home. Talk during it. Study each other. I know it said 'special.' I have these horrible canker sores that have been on my tongue and gums...due to stress, and perhaps an allergic reaction. So I made a soup that both Zane and I enjoy--enough to be filling--and we enjoyed our time studying each other and asking questions we had not asked in a long time...rather, we listened to the answers=)
Dare 17: Love promotes intimacy.
Dare 16: Love intercedes.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
(For more, see previous entries)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare"
I am loving that each dare starts off with a Bible verse...most from Proverbs. Proverbs has a whole lot of wisdom in it's 31 chapters...wisdom that I would do well to gain. The week before I got married, my mom set up a time for me to have tea with one of her spiritual mentors, Corina. Corina is a wise woman, filled with joy, a tender heart, and Christ's love. One of the things she advised me to do was to read a chapter a day in Proverbs to start off my marriage. And so I did. Not only was it a blessing to be in God's word, but it also gave insight on how to pray for my marriage, for my husband, and for myself. I need to make it a habit to read Proverbs--what a blessing it would be for God to grant me wisdom, like He has Corina. I look forward to one day telling my daughter the same advice Corina gave me.
Okay, so the love dare...Love seeks to understand. "We enjoy discovering as much as we can about the things we truly care about...how much do you know about your mate? Think back tot he days you were courting. Didn't you study the one your heart was yearning for?" I have to admit...I most certainly did! I was eager to learn everything about Zane. His favorite ice cream, Bible verse, fruit-loop color, song, band, movie, etc. I took the 'conversation starters' on the back of TGIFriday's sugar packets seriously! I wanted to learn. To get an A+ in my study of Zane.
At some point, I grew comfortable. I guess I subconsciously began to think I had learned everything I needed to learn. What not to cook, what not to say, his love language, how he will react to certain things, etc. Shamefully, I see that marriage should propel me to learn more. To get a doctorate in Zane class. Not just a highschool diploma.
Kendrick provided some challenging questions, that I'll admit, I did not necessarily know the answer right off the top of my head: Do you know his or her greatest hopes and dreams? Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love? Do you know what your spouse's greatest fears are and why they struggle with them?
So, ask questions. "Love takes the initiative to begin conversations." (see Prov. 18:15) Listen. "Even if your spouse is not very talkative, love calls you to draw out the 'deep water' that dwells within them." (see Prov. 20:5) Ask God for discernment. "God is a giver of wisdom...He will show you how to love your spouse better." (See Prov. 2:6) "Desire to know your spouse even better than you do now. Make him or her your chosen field of study, and you will fill your home with the kind of riches only love can provide."
Dare 18: Prepare a special dinner at home. Talk during it. Study each other. I know it said 'special.' I have these horrible canker sores that have been on my tongue and gums...due to stress, and perhaps an allergic reaction. So I made a soup that both Zane and I enjoy--enough to be filling--and we enjoyed our time studying each other and asking questions we had not asked in a long time...rather, we listened to the answers=)
Dare 17: Love promotes intimacy.
Dare 16: Love intercedes.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
(For more, see previous entries)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare"
Friday, August 6, 2010
Dare 17
"He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." --Proverbs 17:9
Love promotes intimacy. This is probably the biggest reason why we are drawn to love. We each are born with an "inborn hunger to be known, loved, and accepted." Our very core draws us into intimacy with others so that we can share life in community. Closeness. "But nothing rivals the closeness that's experienced between a husband and wife."
Unfortunately, too many husbands and wives take intimacy for granted. Secrets carried by one are used against them, perhaps as a source of betrayal. It is such a blessing to be married to someone who accepts me--warts and all. But if I felt fear, shame, or distrust, intimacy would not be possible. A husband or wife "can either love us at depths we never imagined, or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from. It's both the fire and the fear of marriage."
For those who do not consider their homes to be a safe place to be themselves openly in front of their spouse, they will look for safety and intimacy elsewhere. When a husband neglects telling his wife how much she means to him-how beautiful she is-and another man tells her she is breathtaking, betrayal too often begins to stir in her heart. When a wife is a constant nag and doesn't think her husband does enough-does not show him honor and respect-and his pretty co-worker expresses how proud she is of him for winning that big case, his heart too often begins to stir lust.
Marriages in this world are in so much trouble. Especially in America. If we want to experience lasting love, we must guard intimacy and consider our spouse holy. Someone unique, special, and above all others in this world. Someone valued, beautiful, and God's! We must not only pray for our brother's and sister's in Christ, but our very hearts as well. That God can work in our hearts to promote intimacy with our spouse. That home can be a safe haven. May God make my heart home to my wonderful husband.
We can promote intimacy by listening in love and offering support, and always giving a gentle touch, even when it is tough. We must reach out to our beloved in grace and understanding.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear." --1 John 4:18. Ahh...how much easier it is to love unconditionally and cast out fear when Christ is loving through me.
Dare 17: Determine to guard your mate's secrets and to PRAY for them. Make them feel safe.
Dare 16: Pray for their heart.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
Love promotes intimacy. This is probably the biggest reason why we are drawn to love. We each are born with an "inborn hunger to be known, loved, and accepted." Our very core draws us into intimacy with others so that we can share life in community. Closeness. "But nothing rivals the closeness that's experienced between a husband and wife."
Unfortunately, too many husbands and wives take intimacy for granted. Secrets carried by one are used against them, perhaps as a source of betrayal. It is such a blessing to be married to someone who accepts me--warts and all. But if I felt fear, shame, or distrust, intimacy would not be possible. A husband or wife "can either love us at depths we never imagined, or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from. It's both the fire and the fear of marriage."
For those who do not consider their homes to be a safe place to be themselves openly in front of their spouse, they will look for safety and intimacy elsewhere. When a husband neglects telling his wife how much she means to him-how beautiful she is-and another man tells her she is breathtaking, betrayal too often begins to stir in her heart. When a wife is a constant nag and doesn't think her husband does enough-does not show him honor and respect-and his pretty co-worker expresses how proud she is of him for winning that big case, his heart too often begins to stir lust.
Marriages in this world are in so much trouble. Especially in America. If we want to experience lasting love, we must guard intimacy and consider our spouse holy. Someone unique, special, and above all others in this world. Someone valued, beautiful, and God's! We must not only pray for our brother's and sister's in Christ, but our very hearts as well. That God can work in our hearts to promote intimacy with our spouse. That home can be a safe haven. May God make my heart home to my wonderful husband.
We can promote intimacy by listening in love and offering support, and always giving a gentle touch, even when it is tough. We must reach out to our beloved in grace and understanding.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear." --1 John 4:18. Ahh...how much easier it is to love unconditionally and cast out fear when Christ is loving through me.
Dare 17: Determine to guard your mate's secrets and to PRAY for them. Make them feel safe.
Dare 16: Pray for their heart.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Dare 16
"Beloved, I pray that in all respect you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers." -3 John 2
You cannot change your spouse. This dare is all about not changing your spouse, but daring to love. By daring to love, we can be personally changed from the inside out. Dare 16 is encouraging prayer. Communicating with God and laying your burdens and passions at His beautiful feet. (Luke 18:1; Philippians 4:6-7; Acts 12:1-17) God is sovereign, and He does things His way. And communicating with Him is done best when coming from a humble heart that is in a right relationship with God and others. (James 5:16)
God gives us overwhelming insight into our partner's faults (not that Zane has ANY of those) for the sake of effective healing. No one knows better how to pray for Zane than I do, and vise versa. Dare 16 says to turn your complaints into prayers and watch the Master work while you keep your hands clean. It encourages me to pray for exactly what Zane needs. Pray for his heart, his attitude, his responsibilities, etc. One of the most loving things I can ever do for Zane is pray for him.
Dare 16: Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage. (Sorry friends, but I will not reveal on the internet those areas I'm praying for. Just know, I am enjoying praying for my wonderful hubby, and loving him more by doing so.)
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
You cannot change your spouse. This dare is all about not changing your spouse, but daring to love. By daring to love, we can be personally changed from the inside out. Dare 16 is encouraging prayer. Communicating with God and laying your burdens and passions at His beautiful feet. (Luke 18:1; Philippians 4:6-7; Acts 12:1-17) God is sovereign, and He does things His way. And communicating with Him is done best when coming from a humble heart that is in a right relationship with God and others. (James 5:16)
God gives us overwhelming insight into our partner's faults (not that Zane has ANY of those) for the sake of effective healing. No one knows better how to pray for Zane than I do, and vise versa. Dare 16 says to turn your complaints into prayers and watch the Master work while you keep your hands clean. It encourages me to pray for exactly what Zane needs. Pray for his heart, his attitude, his responsibilities, etc. One of the most loving things I can ever do for Zane is pray for him.
Dare 16: Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage. (Sorry friends, but I will not reveal on the internet those areas I'm praying for. Just know, I am enjoying praying for my wonderful hubby, and loving him more by doing so.)
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
Safe when Kneebent
Good morning! I apologize for not updating the Love Dare each day. I assure you that Zane and I are doing them each day; however, I have become lazy in my blogging. At some point tonight, you will receive an update on at least one love dare.
My devotional today in "Praying God's Word" reflected scripture that I dwelled on the day Zane and I spun out on I-285. Every time I read scripture from Psalm 138, I am reminded of God's presence in my life, as well as my deep need for Him...the need to be abiding in Him and in constant prayer. I want to share with you the whole devotional (remember, they are very short) and am hoping you will be blessed by it. That you will be encouraged to fall on your knees before the King of Kings.
"The path to peace is paved with kneeprints. Bend the knee to His trustworthy authority.
Lord God, I desire to bow down to You in worship. I want to kneel before the Lord my Maker; for You are my God, and I am among the sheep of Your pasture, the flock under Your care (Ps. 95:6-7).
Though You, Lord, are on high, You look upon the lowly, but the proud You know from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life; You stretch out Your hand against the anger of my foes, with Your right hand You save me.
You, Lord, will fulfill Your purpose for me; Your love endures forever--do not abandon the works of Your hands (Ps. 138: 6-8)."
It is such a blessing pray each morning God's very word. To pray the promises He has lavished upon us. He is the only one trustworthy and faithful to never go back on His word. And what a relief to know that He will fulfill His purpose for me. His love endures forever. Praise Jesus!
My devotional today in "Praying God's Word" reflected scripture that I dwelled on the day Zane and I spun out on I-285. Every time I read scripture from Psalm 138, I am reminded of God's presence in my life, as well as my deep need for Him...the need to be abiding in Him and in constant prayer. I want to share with you the whole devotional (remember, they are very short) and am hoping you will be blessed by it. That you will be encouraged to fall on your knees before the King of Kings.
"The path to peace is paved with kneeprints. Bend the knee to His trustworthy authority.
Lord God, I desire to bow down to You in worship. I want to kneel before the Lord my Maker; for You are my God, and I am among the sheep of Your pasture, the flock under Your care (Ps. 95:6-7).
Though You, Lord, are on high, You look upon the lowly, but the proud You know from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life; You stretch out Your hand against the anger of my foes, with Your right hand You save me.
You, Lord, will fulfill Your purpose for me; Your love endures forever--do not abandon the works of Your hands (Ps. 138: 6-8)."
It is such a blessing pray each morning God's very word. To pray the promises He has lavished upon us. He is the only one trustworthy and faithful to never go back on His word. And what a relief to know that He will fulfill His purpose for me. His love endures forever. Praise Jesus!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Dare 15
"Live with your wives in an understanding way...and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life." --1 Peter 3:7
Love is honorable. When I first read that title, I knew immediately I need to work on this. I know I've said that before, but showing honor to my husband is something I lack when I don't get my way. While reading this book, I have become more and more aware of how selfish I am...and how blessed I am to have a husband that loves me despite my never-ending flaws. Oh, how I love Zane...I need to learn to show it!
"To honor someone means to give them respect and high esteem, to treat them as being special and of great worth...be courteous and polite...honoring your mate means giving him or her full attention, not talking to them from behind a newspaper or with one eye on the television...Your spouse matters--and because of the way you treat them, they should know it."
While Zane and I were reading this I stopped him right there, and asked if he knew that I honored him. That I respected him. He said yes...but I know deep down I can do a better job! I just pray that God will work in my heart and make me more and more selfless each day so that I can show my love for my husband more...so that our love can grow!
Something interesting about this particular love dare is learning to view our spouse as holy. I know, I re-read that, thinking only God is holy. But in actuality, God is calling us to holiness as His children. Let me paraphrase: holiness doesn't mean that Zane is perfect, or that he views me as perfect. It means that we are set apart in each other's eyes for a higher purpose--no longer common or everyday but special and unique. We have a place in each other's heart that no one can rival. We honor, praise, and defend each other. Just like a bride takes special care of her gown, setting it aside for her big day, handling it with care, feeling beautiful in it and seeing it as beautiful...Zane and I should treat each other the same.
Even though it may be hard to always honor each other, it is not about doing so when it is easy. True love loves regardless of circumstances, changes, and feelings. It chooses to love. "Love honors even when it's rejected. Love treats its beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return...love dares to say 'of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I'm willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults--past and present--I still choose to love and honor you.' That's how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That's how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that's the beauty of honor."
Dare 15: Choose a way to show honor and respect that is above your normal routine. Okay, this may seem silly to you, but Zane and I did so by going to Waffle House with one another. We fell in love with each other during 'study groups' at IHop and Waffle House. We thought a great way to show our love and how much we esteem our relationship would be by 'dating' like we once did, and rekindling the romance from the beginning. Haha..you may say Waffle House isn't romantic, but it holds a very special place in our hearts.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
Love is honorable. When I first read that title, I knew immediately I need to work on this. I know I've said that before, but showing honor to my husband is something I lack when I don't get my way. While reading this book, I have become more and more aware of how selfish I am...and how blessed I am to have a husband that loves me despite my never-ending flaws. Oh, how I love Zane...I need to learn to show it!
"To honor someone means to give them respect and high esteem, to treat them as being special and of great worth...be courteous and polite...honoring your mate means giving him or her full attention, not talking to them from behind a newspaper or with one eye on the television...Your spouse matters--and because of the way you treat them, they should know it."
While Zane and I were reading this I stopped him right there, and asked if he knew that I honored him. That I respected him. He said yes...but I know deep down I can do a better job! I just pray that God will work in my heart and make me more and more selfless each day so that I can show my love for my husband more...so that our love can grow!
Something interesting about this particular love dare is learning to view our spouse as holy. I know, I re-read that, thinking only God is holy. But in actuality, God is calling us to holiness as His children. Let me paraphrase: holiness doesn't mean that Zane is perfect, or that he views me as perfect. It means that we are set apart in each other's eyes for a higher purpose--no longer common or everyday but special and unique. We have a place in each other's heart that no one can rival. We honor, praise, and defend each other. Just like a bride takes special care of her gown, setting it aside for her big day, handling it with care, feeling beautiful in it and seeing it as beautiful...Zane and I should treat each other the same.
Even though it may be hard to always honor each other, it is not about doing so when it is easy. True love loves regardless of circumstances, changes, and feelings. It chooses to love. "Love honors even when it's rejected. Love treats its beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return...love dares to say 'of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I'm willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults--past and present--I still choose to love and honor you.' That's how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That's how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that's the beauty of honor."
Dare 15: Choose a way to show honor and respect that is above your normal routine. Okay, this may seem silly to you, but Zane and I did so by going to Waffle House with one another. We fell in love with each other during 'study groups' at IHop and Waffle House. We thought a great way to show our love and how much we esteem our relationship would be by 'dating' like we once did, and rekindling the romance from the beginning. Haha..you may say Waffle House isn't romantic, but it holds a very special place in our hearts.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
Monday, August 2, 2010
Dare 14
"Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life." --Ecclesiastes 9:9
This dare is all about taking delight in your spouse. Leading your heart, not following it. By taking on the previous dares: being selfless, greeting with a smile on my face, being thoughtful, etc. it will help Zane to see how much I delight in him.
"There is something just as powerful as fresh, new love (newly wed love--being excited to call your spouse your own...taking delight in that). It comes from the decision to delight in your spouse and to love him or her no matter how long you've been married. In other words, love that chooses to love is just as powerful as love that feels like loving. In many ways, it's a truer love because it has its eyes wide open" (Kendrick).
Remember why you once fell in love. For me, Zane sought me. He fought for me. He loved me unconditionally...and something very important--he wanted to be friends with my friends and build relationships with my family. He loved Jesus. He prayed for me. He prayed for our relationship. It is easy to remember why I once fell in love with Zane. He is still all those things, and more.
The responsibility is mine to love the one I promised to love forever...to do so delightfully. And as I delight in him, our marriage, and our love, will only grow more and more powerful.
Dare 14: Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. So, Zane and I spent the evening, after our commute from Atlanta, eating together, playing with the dogs, and watching a movie. We did everything together, and did so while laughing and delighting in one another.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
This dare is all about taking delight in your spouse. Leading your heart, not following it. By taking on the previous dares: being selfless, greeting with a smile on my face, being thoughtful, etc. it will help Zane to see how much I delight in him.
"There is something just as powerful as fresh, new love (newly wed love--being excited to call your spouse your own...taking delight in that). It comes from the decision to delight in your spouse and to love him or her no matter how long you've been married. In other words, love that chooses to love is just as powerful as love that feels like loving. In many ways, it's a truer love because it has its eyes wide open" (Kendrick).
Remember why you once fell in love. For me, Zane sought me. He fought for me. He loved me unconditionally...and something very important--he wanted to be friends with my friends and build relationships with my family. He loved Jesus. He prayed for me. He prayed for our relationship. It is easy to remember why I once fell in love with Zane. He is still all those things, and more.
The responsibility is mine to love the one I promised to love forever...to do so delightfully. And as I delight in him, our marriage, and our love, will only grow more and more powerful.
Dare 14: Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. So, Zane and I spent the evening, after our commute from Atlanta, eating together, playing with the dogs, and watching a movie. We did everything together, and did so while laughing and delighting in one another.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
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