Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dare 31

"A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." --Genesis 2:24
I bet you have already guessed what this dare is all about! Leaving and cleaving. This was such a hard concept for me to put into action. My mother and I talked, literally, every day...for the majority of my life thus far, and many times a day at that! And Zane, as a man, cannot find it in him to desire talking for multiple hours a day about nothing. When Zane and I first got married, I continued talking to my mother every day. Always keeping her updated on the happenings in Georgia--being in Georgia made it even more important to talk to my mommy! I was a whole state away now!
Needless to say, one day Zane let me know that I talked to my mom more than him (true), and that it sometimes felt like I needed to talk to her more than him (ouch). It was that moment that I realized, I had not followed the 'leaving and cleaving' part of the Bible, and it was affecting my husband, which in turn was affecting me. The days and weeks that followed served as re-training myself, learning to survive without my mom's voice on the telephone. Marriage changes everything!
So what does leaving really mean? "Leaving means that you are breaking a natural tie. Your parents step into the role of counselors to be respected, but can no longer tell you what to do...the purpose of leaving, of course, is not to abandon all contact with the past but rather to preserve the unique oneness that marriage is designed to capture. Only in oneness can you become all that God means for you to be" (Kendrick).
And "cleaving?" Well, that is a rather joyous time in marriage...and quite stretching one as well. When cleaving, you learn to make decisions together, even when you are coming from different viewpoints; you learn to achieve oneness in your priorities; you learn to sacrifice for each other...compromise. "Cleaving carries the idea of catching someone by pursuit, clinging to them as your new rock of refuge and safety" (Kendrick). In Ephesians 5, we are told that the man is the spiritual leader of your new home, tasked with the responsibility of love you "just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:33). The woman is called to "see to it that she respects her husband" (5:33).
While I may have already gone through the "leaving" part, Zane and I are dared to cleave to one another, pursue and cling to each other providing refuge and safety for one another. Dare to walk as one.
Dare 31: Make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
Dare 30: Be unified.
Dare 29: Express your love.
Dare 28: Sacrifice.
Dare 27: Encourage.
(For previous dares, refer to earlier entries.)

--Inspired by, "The Love Dare."

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