Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Dare 18

"How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding." --Proverbs 3:13
I am loving that each dare starts off with a Bible verse...most from Proverbs. Proverbs has a whole lot of wisdom in it's 31 chapters...wisdom that I would do well to gain. The week before I got married, my mom set up a time for me to have tea with one of her spiritual mentors, Corina. Corina is a wise woman, filled with joy, a tender heart, and Christ's love. One of the things she advised me to do was to read a chapter a day in Proverbs to start off my marriage. And so I did. Not only was it a blessing to be in God's word, but it also gave insight on how to pray for my marriage, for my husband, and for myself. I need to make it a habit to read Proverbs--what a blessing it would be for God to grant me wisdom, like He has Corina. I look forward to one day telling my daughter the same advice Corina gave me.
Okay, so the love dare...Love seeks to understand. "We enjoy discovering as much as we can about the things we truly care much do you know about your mate? Think back tot he days you were courting. Didn't you study the one your heart was yearning for?" I have to admit...I most certainly did! I was eager to learn everything about Zane. His favorite ice cream, Bible verse, fruit-loop color, song, band, movie, etc. I took the 'conversation starters' on the back of TGIFriday's sugar packets seriously! I wanted to learn. To get an A+ in my study of Zane.
At some point, I grew comfortable. I guess I subconsciously began to think I had learned everything I needed to learn. What not to cook, what not to say, his love language, how he will react to certain things, etc. Shamefully, I see that marriage should propel me to learn more. To get a doctorate in Zane class. Not just a highschool diploma.
Kendrick provided some challenging questions, that I'll admit, I did not necessarily know the answer right off the top of my head: Do you know his or her greatest hopes and dreams? Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love? Do you know what your spouse's greatest fears are and why they struggle with them?
So, ask questions. "Love takes the initiative to begin conversations." (see Prov. 18:15) Listen. "Even if your spouse is not very talkative, love calls you to draw out the 'deep water' that dwells within them." (see Prov. 20:5) Ask God for discernment. "God is a giver of wisdom...He will show you how to love your spouse better." (See Prov. 2:6) "Desire to know your spouse even better than you do now. Make him or her your chosen field of study, and you will fill your home with the kind of riches only love can provide."
Dare 18: Prepare a special dinner at home. Talk during it. Study each other. I know it said 'special.' I have these horrible canker sores that have been on my tongue and gums...due to stress, and perhaps an allergic reaction. So I made a soup that both Zane and I enjoy--enough to be filling--and we enjoyed our time studying each other and asking questions we had not asked in a long time...rather, we listened to the answers=)
Dare 17: Love promotes intimacy.
Dare 16: Love intercedes.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
(For more, see previous entries)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare"

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