Good evening! I am going to be meeting new girlfriends of mine in about 30 minutes, but had to tell you to throw up first:) That is right! Go throw up all your insecurities right now!
As you all know, if you have been following this blog, I have Women's Biblestudy on Tuesday nights, and we are currently studying 'So Long, Insecurity' by Beth Moore. I have such a blessed time studying with these ladies and being in fellowship with them! However, this book gives us plenty of avenues to walk down and get off topic...my oh my did we grow up with some insecurities. Nevertheless, we are getting to the part in the book to discuss healing! We are learning how to let Christ mend our wounds so we can walk in security with Him.
Last night, we spent a lot of time talking about ways we use to be insecure, or current insecurities, and the roots that started it all. Did we not receive attention from our parents which led us to seek attention in unhealthy places? Had we experienced a lack of control in one area of our lives that we needed to be in control constantly of ourselves...and of those around us as well? One of us grew up in a family with a deep, painful secret, which they never talked about. It caused her to grow up in silence, always wondering if her parents were mad at her...if something was wrong...that it was her fault. Now she wants to deal with that and realize how it has affected her so that it does not transcend into her family today. Dear friends, we must deal with our insecurities. We need to get them pulled out by the roots. Don't fret, you don't have to do it alone. In fact, I don't believe it is possible for you to do it by yourself. "We need to let God shovel us out of insecurity, because without Him, we're stuck." (B. Moore)
Looking back over the few years of life I have experienced, I see an overwhelming mountain of insecurity that I have trudged through. God has graciously and powerfully rescued me from so much...but He still has work to do. Goodness. Each day is a new day to battle insecurity. I can truthfully tell you that when I begin thinking about future children Zane and I will have...the insecurities flood in! Will I be a good mother? Will I be able to show my children I love them equally? What will I do if one is good at the piano and another is tone deaf? What if one of my kids is a natural at sports yet wastes his talent and another longs to be able to throw a ball 10 ft.? To all you mothers out there...I am so proud of you...and thankful for you...that you have gone before me and are kind enough to let me watch and learn! Yes, be paranoid. You ARE being watched. (Don't let that make you insecure, please! I watch because I think you are so good at it and I want to learn your ways!)
In study last night, we were asked what our top 3 reasons were for why it's time to deal with our insecurity. Here are my reasons:
1) To be an example for Christ.
2) Stop wasting time on me!
3) See me how God sees me.
I suppose they are all tied in together. If I believe what I say I believe, then I know that God has the power to make me so secure in Him. That security is not meant to cause pride, but rather confidence...confidence in Jesus Christ. I long to be an example of Jesus, but as long as I'm strapped down by insecurity that cannot happen. Probably because insecurity makes you waste time on yourself! Oh, how caught up in ourselves we are to be constantly worried about how we look, how much money we make, what our friends think of us, did we say the right thing, etc. How can we focus on our relationship with Jesus when we are consumed with other people's opinions of us?!
And lastly, I want to see me how God sees me. He sees me as beautiful. As His child. He is coming back for me! He thinks I am worth it! Before I was born, He thought I was worth giving up His kingdom to be on this earth for years...so that He could pay the price for me to join Him in heaven. Praise God for that! Praise God. Aww. You are worth it too. Everything we need is found in Jesus. All the love. All the acceptance. It is found in Him.
Here is a love song of how God feels about us. Absorb it. Take it in. And friends! See how secure we are in His hands. He will not let us go. We are safe and secure in Jesus.
"I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain just to be with the one he loves.
How many times has he broken that promise? It has never been done.
I've never climbed the highest mountain, but I walked the hill to Calvary.
Just to be with you, I will do anything.
There's no price I would not pay. No.
Just to be with you I would give anything.
I would give my life away.
I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean just to be with the one he loves.
All of those dreams are an empty motion. It can never be done.
I've never swam the deepest ocean. But I walked upon the raging sea.
Just to be with you I will do anything. There's no price I would not pay. no.
Just to be with you I would give anything. I would give my life away.
I know that you don't understand the fullness of My love.
How I died upon the cross for your sins.
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you. But I promise, I would do it all again.
Just to be with you, I've done everything. There's no price I did not pay. No.
Just to be with you, I gave everything. Yes, I gave my life away.
Just to be with you." --Third Day, Love Song.
Dear friends, if you don't let God's love make you secure, then you will drown in your insecurities. He loves you deeply. Completely. Unconditionally. God loves us so much! We have the opportunity to be secure in Him. Let's grasp it.