"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32
Good morning! Fortunately for me, my patience was not tested yesterday, so I passed yesterday's love dare with flying colors:) It is so much better to be off to a good start than quickly falling behind. However, I will continue yesterday's along with this new one...after all, it could not hurt to practice patience. And I do love my husband so much, which is enough reason to hold my tongue and not say anything negative...come what may.
For today, I am dared to focus on kindness--which is love in action. "If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance." Friends, I must say I love being positive. And the fact that Zane and I were drawn towards each other and began to fall in love the more we were kind to one another causes me to wonder if we could fall even deeper in love with more kindness being portrayed? If love makes you be kind, then how is it that so many marriages become drastically unkind? I believe that at some moment in a marriage, one or both people become self-serving (I say 'become self-serving,' assuming that at the beginning of a marriage, spouses are so wrapped up in each other, almost every action is geared towards making the other more comfortable, and feel loved.) It doesn't help that society preaches independence and that one can only count on themselves. I believe that one of the reasons I am so secure in my marriage is that I recognize my independence was changed into something more beautiful when I said "I do." Now I have the opportunity to share my life, my ideas, my insecurities, my private moments, with someone who is in this as much as me. And if I am self-serving, and neglect the intimacy that can be realized through caring for one another, then yes, my marriage will be unkind, and lack love.
Kindness encompasses 'four basic core ingredients:' 1)Gentleness--being sensitive, tender, speaking the truth in love. 2) Helpfulness--meeting needs. "Kindness graces a wife with the ability to serve her husband without worrying about her rights. Kindness makes a husband curious to discover what his wife needs, then motivates him to be the one who steps up and ensures those needs are met, even if his are put on hold." 3)Willingness--being agreeable, cooperative, flexible. Compromise. Accomodate. I am not going to pretend any of those are easy. I have the willingness to bend to my will. But it is so terribly difficult for me to compromise--and that is a must in a marriage. 4)Initiative--kindness thinks ahead then takes the first step. (This is great...I can treat this like a competition! And win, because I am way more competitive than my dear husband. He is terrified I will be that soccer mom that all the other parents despise because I yell at the ref...or worse, the kids on the opposing team. Fortunately I have plenty of time to work on my sportsmanship!) A kind husband or wife greets first, smiles first, serves first, and forgives first. Not conditionally. Not when it is easy. Even when it is hard, the kind one extends the hand first.
I wonder how Zane would rate me on the 'kindness meter?' In Proverbs 31:6, a woman's husband and children bless and praise her because of her noble attributes, saying "She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." I bet her mouth opens in wisdom because she is patient and seeks kind words rather than reacting negatively. I would love for God to mold me into a woman likened to the Proverbs 31 woman. But, I must pray for patience as He molds me into the woman He created me to be.
Todays Dare: Do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Previous Dare(s): Be patient.
--Inspired by The Love Dare.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Dare 1
"Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor. 13:13
Good morning! I am off to a new adventure and thought you might enjoy it. I bought The Love Dare at the beginning of the year, and am finally getting around to it. This book is by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, and was the inspiration for the movie Fireproof, or Fireproof inspired the book. Either way, I am excited to be tackling this. Everyone can dare to love more! So, 'The Love Dare is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love.' I'm looking forward to this. I hope you are too! I will take the dare day by day and let you know how and when I stumble (I'm sure it will happen), what the dare is, and a corresponding verse to go with it. I'm looking forward to how God will increase my love for my incredible husband...and the best thing is, he does not know I am going through the book:) And no, he doesn't read my blog...so he will either think I am crazy at times, or find me really charming and loving. A hopeless romantic. I will be dared to think differently than the world tells me to--lead my heart rather than be led by my heart. Blogging about it will help me to capture what is happening to both me and Zane along the way...and further roots my understanding the I have the responsibility to protect and guide my heart. Here goes:
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Eph. 4:2 Did that make you cringe? It made me! That familiar scripture was the first thing I read upon Day 1, after the title: Love is patient. Oh no. The gentle part, I can handle. The humble...well, I'm earnestly seeking to get better. But patient? Friends, I don't know about you, but I absolutely loathe going through something that requires patience. I'm not good at it...and I'm not sure I necessarily want to be good at. I want what I want, when I want it. But I also fully understand how beautiful and indescribable it is when something we have longed for, waited for, comes to pass. Patience is such a difficult virtue to master. One that God is always teaching me. But as a Christian, I am told repeatedly to be patient. The scripture is full of God's patience towards His people. Of His unconditional love for His people. If God were not patient, He would not love us unconditionally. He wouldn't love us. We would all be in so much trouble--because we make the same mistakes over and over and over and over. When someone makes a mistake towards me, my patience is already short. But when someone makes that same mistake twice, my fuse is shot. Praise God He loves us. He is jealous for us. And He will be patient with us, that we may abound in His steadfast love.
So, I suppose that is where this Dare comes in. I vowed on our wedding day to love Zane til death. We wrote our own vows, and read traditional ones, but part of my vows were to be patient, be slow to anger, to seek kindness and be that gentle tongue which turns away wrath. I promised that our strengths mixed with each other's weaknesses would only allow us to love each other more and abound in our need of Christ. And, I vowed to seek Christ, with Zane, and keep Christ the center of our lives, that we could grow to learn how to love each other perfectly...loving better as each day passes.
So, this means for me, that when I get my hopes up, I will be patient--which means kind and loving--and bear with my husband. Listen to his view point. Compromise where a compromise is possible. Notice that in the scripture, vs. 2b states to 'be patient, bearing with one another in love.' Being patient won't always be easy. But if I can be conscientious of Zane's heart, and bear with him in love, then God will enable me to be patient.
"When you choose to be patient, you will respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper...love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm...Patience is where love meets wisdom...few of us do patience very well, and none of us do it naturally. But wise men and women will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationships."-Kendrick
So my dare? Resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to Zane at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. "It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret." Or as Thumper says, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
Good morning! I am off to a new adventure and thought you might enjoy it. I bought The Love Dare at the beginning of the year, and am finally getting around to it. This book is by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, and was the inspiration for the movie Fireproof, or Fireproof inspired the book. Either way, I am excited to be tackling this. Everyone can dare to love more! So, 'The Love Dare is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love.' I'm looking forward to this. I hope you are too! I will take the dare day by day and let you know how and when I stumble (I'm sure it will happen), what the dare is, and a corresponding verse to go with it. I'm looking forward to how God will increase my love for my incredible husband...and the best thing is, he does not know I am going through the book:) And no, he doesn't read my blog...so he will either think I am crazy at times, or find me really charming and loving. A hopeless romantic. I will be dared to think differently than the world tells me to--lead my heart rather than be led by my heart. Blogging about it will help me to capture what is happening to both me and Zane along the way...and further roots my understanding the I have the responsibility to protect and guide my heart. Here goes:
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Eph. 4:2 Did that make you cringe? It made me! That familiar scripture was the first thing I read upon Day 1, after the title: Love is patient. Oh no. The gentle part, I can handle. The humble...well, I'm earnestly seeking to get better. But patient? Friends, I don't know about you, but I absolutely loathe going through something that requires patience. I'm not good at it...and I'm not sure I necessarily want to be good at. I want what I want, when I want it. But I also fully understand how beautiful and indescribable it is when something we have longed for, waited for, comes to pass. Patience is such a difficult virtue to master. One that God is always teaching me. But as a Christian, I am told repeatedly to be patient. The scripture is full of God's patience towards His people. Of His unconditional love for His people. If God were not patient, He would not love us unconditionally. He wouldn't love us. We would all be in so much trouble--because we make the same mistakes over and over and over and over. When someone makes a mistake towards me, my patience is already short. But when someone makes that same mistake twice, my fuse is shot. Praise God He loves us. He is jealous for us. And He will be patient with us, that we may abound in His steadfast love.
So, I suppose that is where this Dare comes in. I vowed on our wedding day to love Zane til death. We wrote our own vows, and read traditional ones, but part of my vows were to be patient, be slow to anger, to seek kindness and be that gentle tongue which turns away wrath. I promised that our strengths mixed with each other's weaknesses would only allow us to love each other more and abound in our need of Christ. And, I vowed to seek Christ, with Zane, and keep Christ the center of our lives, that we could grow to learn how to love each other perfectly...loving better as each day passes.
So, this means for me, that when I get my hopes up, I will be patient--which means kind and loving--and bear with my husband. Listen to his view point. Compromise where a compromise is possible. Notice that in the scripture, vs. 2b states to 'be patient, bearing with one another in love.' Being patient won't always be easy. But if I can be conscientious of Zane's heart, and bear with him in love, then God will enable me to be patient.
"When you choose to be patient, you will respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper...love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm...Patience is where love meets wisdom...few of us do patience very well, and none of us do it naturally. But wise men and women will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationships."-Kendrick
So my dare? Resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to Zane at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. "It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret." Or as Thumper says, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
Monday, June 28, 2010
Family
Good morning! I hope you had a great weekend, too. Mine was incredible. I spent my weekend in Chattanooga with friends and family...the people that bless my life more than words can say. This will be my shortest blog EVER. But I really just wanted to get on here and ask you to spend time with the people you love most. Take a moment to think about who they are and make time for them. As I get older and more 'life' happens, it becomes more and more difficult for me to make the time to spend with family and friends...and it most certainly does not help living in another state. So please, take some time and get together with the people you love and cherish every moment with them. The Fourth of July is coming up this weekend. Sounds like a good time for me and my hubby to travel to Knoxville!
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