"How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding." --Proverbs 3:13
I am loving that each dare starts off with a Bible verse...most from Proverbs. Proverbs has a whole lot of wisdom in it's 31 chapters...wisdom that I would do well to gain. The week before I got married, my mom set up a time for me to have tea with one of her spiritual mentors, Corina. Corina is a wise woman, filled with joy, a tender heart, and Christ's love. One of the things she advised me to do was to read a chapter a day in Proverbs to start off my marriage. And so I did. Not only was it a blessing to be in God's word, but it also gave insight on how to pray for my marriage, for my husband, and for myself. I need to make it a habit to read Proverbs--what a blessing it would be for God to grant me wisdom, like He has Corina. I look forward to one day telling my daughter the same advice Corina gave me.
Okay, so the love dare...Love seeks to understand. "We enjoy discovering as much as we can about the things we truly care about...how much do you know about your mate? Think back tot he days you were courting. Didn't you study the one your heart was yearning for?" I have to admit...I most certainly did! I was eager to learn everything about Zane. His favorite ice cream, Bible verse, fruit-loop color, song, band, movie, etc. I took the 'conversation starters' on the back of TGIFriday's sugar packets seriously! I wanted to learn. To get an A+ in my study of Zane.
At some point, I grew comfortable. I guess I subconsciously began to think I had learned everything I needed to learn. What not to cook, what not to say, his love language, how he will react to certain things, etc. Shamefully, I see that marriage should propel me to learn more. To get a doctorate in Zane class. Not just a highschool diploma.
Kendrick provided some challenging questions, that I'll admit, I did not necessarily know the answer right off the top of my head: Do you know his or her greatest hopes and dreams? Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love? Do you know what your spouse's greatest fears are and why they struggle with them?
So, ask questions. "Love takes the initiative to begin conversations." (see Prov. 18:15) Listen. "Even if your spouse is not very talkative, love calls you to draw out the 'deep water' that dwells within them." (see Prov. 20:5) Ask God for discernment. "God is a giver of wisdom...He will show you how to love your spouse better." (See Prov. 2:6) "Desire to know your spouse even better than you do now. Make him or her your chosen field of study, and you will fill your home with the kind of riches only love can provide."
Dare 18: Prepare a special dinner at home. Talk during it. Study each other. I know it said 'special.' I have these horrible canker sores that have been on my tongue and gums...due to stress, and perhaps an allergic reaction. So I made a soup that both Zane and I enjoy--enough to be filling--and we enjoyed our time studying each other and asking questions we had not asked in a long time...rather, we listened to the answers=)
Dare 17: Love promotes intimacy.
Dare 16: Love intercedes.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
(For more, see previous entries)
--Inspired by, "The Love Dare"
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Dare 17
"He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." --Proverbs 17:9
Love promotes intimacy. This is probably the biggest reason why we are drawn to love. We each are born with an "inborn hunger to be known, loved, and accepted." Our very core draws us into intimacy with others so that we can share life in community. Closeness. "But nothing rivals the closeness that's experienced between a husband and wife."
Unfortunately, too many husbands and wives take intimacy for granted. Secrets carried by one are used against them, perhaps as a source of betrayal. It is such a blessing to be married to someone who accepts me--warts and all. But if I felt fear, shame, or distrust, intimacy would not be possible. A husband or wife "can either love us at depths we never imagined, or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from. It's both the fire and the fear of marriage."
For those who do not consider their homes to be a safe place to be themselves openly in front of their spouse, they will look for safety and intimacy elsewhere. When a husband neglects telling his wife how much she means to him-how beautiful she is-and another man tells her she is breathtaking, betrayal too often begins to stir in her heart. When a wife is a constant nag and doesn't think her husband does enough-does not show him honor and respect-and his pretty co-worker expresses how proud she is of him for winning that big case, his heart too often begins to stir lust.
Marriages in this world are in so much trouble. Especially in America. If we want to experience lasting love, we must guard intimacy and consider our spouse holy. Someone unique, special, and above all others in this world. Someone valued, beautiful, and God's! We must not only pray for our brother's and sister's in Christ, but our very hearts as well. That God can work in our hearts to promote intimacy with our spouse. That home can be a safe haven. May God make my heart home to my wonderful husband.
We can promote intimacy by listening in love and offering support, and always giving a gentle touch, even when it is tough. We must reach out to our beloved in grace and understanding.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear." --1 John 4:18. Ahh...how much easier it is to love unconditionally and cast out fear when Christ is loving through me.
Dare 17: Determine to guard your mate's secrets and to PRAY for them. Make them feel safe.
Dare 16: Pray for their heart.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
Love promotes intimacy. This is probably the biggest reason why we are drawn to love. We each are born with an "inborn hunger to be known, loved, and accepted." Our very core draws us into intimacy with others so that we can share life in community. Closeness. "But nothing rivals the closeness that's experienced between a husband and wife."
Unfortunately, too many husbands and wives take intimacy for granted. Secrets carried by one are used against them, perhaps as a source of betrayal. It is such a blessing to be married to someone who accepts me--warts and all. But if I felt fear, shame, or distrust, intimacy would not be possible. A husband or wife "can either love us at depths we never imagined, or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from. It's both the fire and the fear of marriage."
For those who do not consider their homes to be a safe place to be themselves openly in front of their spouse, they will look for safety and intimacy elsewhere. When a husband neglects telling his wife how much she means to him-how beautiful she is-and another man tells her she is breathtaking, betrayal too often begins to stir in her heart. When a wife is a constant nag and doesn't think her husband does enough-does not show him honor and respect-and his pretty co-worker expresses how proud she is of him for winning that big case, his heart too often begins to stir lust.
Marriages in this world are in so much trouble. Especially in America. If we want to experience lasting love, we must guard intimacy and consider our spouse holy. Someone unique, special, and above all others in this world. Someone valued, beautiful, and God's! We must not only pray for our brother's and sister's in Christ, but our very hearts as well. That God can work in our hearts to promote intimacy with our spouse. That home can be a safe haven. May God make my heart home to my wonderful husband.
We can promote intimacy by listening in love and offering support, and always giving a gentle touch, even when it is tough. We must reach out to our beloved in grace and understanding.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear." --1 John 4:18. Ahh...how much easier it is to love unconditionally and cast out fear when Christ is loving through me.
Dare 17: Determine to guard your mate's secrets and to PRAY for them. Make them feel safe.
Dare 16: Pray for their heart.
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Dare 16
"Beloved, I pray that in all respect you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers." -3 John 2
You cannot change your spouse. This dare is all about not changing your spouse, but daring to love. By daring to love, we can be personally changed from the inside out. Dare 16 is encouraging prayer. Communicating with God and laying your burdens and passions at His beautiful feet. (Luke 18:1; Philippians 4:6-7; Acts 12:1-17) God is sovereign, and He does things His way. And communicating with Him is done best when coming from a humble heart that is in a right relationship with God and others. (James 5:16)
God gives us overwhelming insight into our partner's faults (not that Zane has ANY of those) for the sake of effective healing. No one knows better how to pray for Zane than I do, and vise versa. Dare 16 says to turn your complaints into prayers and watch the Master work while you keep your hands clean. It encourages me to pray for exactly what Zane needs. Pray for his heart, his attitude, his responsibilities, etc. One of the most loving things I can ever do for Zane is pray for him.
Dare 16: Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage. (Sorry friends, but I will not reveal on the internet those areas I'm praying for. Just know, I am enjoying praying for my wonderful hubby, and loving him more by doing so.)
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
You cannot change your spouse. This dare is all about not changing your spouse, but daring to love. By daring to love, we can be personally changed from the inside out. Dare 16 is encouraging prayer. Communicating with God and laying your burdens and passions at His beautiful feet. (Luke 18:1; Philippians 4:6-7; Acts 12:1-17) God is sovereign, and He does things His way. And communicating with Him is done best when coming from a humble heart that is in a right relationship with God and others. (James 5:16)
God gives us overwhelming insight into our partner's faults (not that Zane has ANY of those) for the sake of effective healing. No one knows better how to pray for Zane than I do, and vise versa. Dare 16 says to turn your complaints into prayers and watch the Master work while you keep your hands clean. It encourages me to pray for exactly what Zane needs. Pray for his heart, his attitude, his responsibilities, etc. One of the most loving things I can ever do for Zane is pray for him.
Dare 16: Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage. (Sorry friends, but I will not reveal on the internet those areas I'm praying for. Just know, I am enjoying praying for my wonderful hubby, and loving him more by doing so.)
Dare 15: Honor each other.
Dare 14: Delight in each other.
Dare 13: Fight fair.
Dare 12: Let the other win.
Dare 11: Cherish each other.
Dare 10: Love unconditionally.
Dare 9: Greet well.
Dare 8: Don't be jealous.
Dare 7: Believe the best.
Dare 6: Don't be irritable.
Dare 5: Don't be rude.
Dare 4: Be thoughtful.
Dare 3: Be selfless.
Dare 2: Be kind.
Dare 1: Be patient.
--Inspired by "The Love Dare."
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